The Britney Spears/Kevin Federline divorce descended into absurdity. According to a leaked copy of the prenuptial agreement signed by Federline, the rapper will only receive $300,661 in spousal support from Spears $100 million fortune. Furthermore, he must give back any gift valued over $10,000, which means no more Ferrari and diamond-encrusted necklaces.

An early draft of the pre-nup puts a cap on spousal support at £18,947 per year of marriage. This was later amended to £157,894, though legal jargon effectively means he gets this for every TWO years of marriage. Each is banned from writing books or giving interviews about their relationship without the other's prior consent.

Federline apparently found a crafty attorney, because according to reports, he found some leverage in the divorce proceedings. He threatened to sell a honeymoon sex vid starring his estranged wife. Buyers are champing at the bit to purchase the rights to the video; published reports claimed there is a $50 million offer on the table.

The home-made video is believed to show the naked couple enjoying an uninhibited range of love-making and sexual games. It was made during the first weeks of their relationship two years ago when they were holed up in one of the exclusive bungalows at the Beverly Hills Hotel in Los Angeles.

The source close to Federline said: "At the time the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship and couldn't keep their hands off each other.

"They did nothing all day but have sexand play the odd game of chess.

"They were insatiable and they believed they would be together forever.

"Britney didn't think twice about making the video at the time. She mistakenly believed that their love would last.

"They adored filming each other. They lived their lives in front of the cameraseven making a short-lived reality TV show of their exploits.

"Sex was no different to them, it seems. Now this video could prove very costly to her.

"Millions of people will be prepared to pay to watch.
"Kevin has told Britney she should comply with his demands otherwise the whole world will see her having sex, which will be devastating."

He added: "At the moment Kev is in talks with a company in Arizona about putting the four-hour sex vid online. If it all goes to plan he'll make £26million from it."

Spears planned major comeback (she even took a shower and brushed her hair), so we can assume her advisers seethe at the mention of a sex tape. I will gladly shell out thirty bucks to see Brit getting dirty. And play chess.

Tit-tays.

DeceptiviewFilm

Parlin, NJ

February 2004

NOV 14, 2006 10:08 AM

she's been showing them off alot.... Yeah....After Britney and Kevin/Chaotic...>I'm not surprised....

RELEASE IT... She might get even more fans...Pam did it.

Vellin

SUICIDEGIRL

Ontario, Canada

NOV 14, 2006 10:13 AM

that's horrible...poor britney has to put up with that dirtbag's shit...

Andvari

Calgary, AB

April 2005

NOV 14, 2006 10:15 AM

Chess????

?

Jay_Blank

Brooklyn, NY

July 2006

NOV 14, 2006 10:18 AM

"They did nothing all day but have sex_and play the odd game of chess. "

hahahaha

Gringo

Spokane, WA

May 2006

NOV 14, 2006 10:19 AM

As if this fuckchop hadn't gotten enough financial gain from her. I hope he loses everything including any/all celeb status afer this shit blows over.

Horrorflick

Detroit, MI

February 2003

NOV 14, 2006 10:20 AM

As sad as this is, I would actually pay money to see this. (I feel like I have to take a shower now...)

ephexis

I'm lost

September 2004

NOV 14, 2006 10:20 AM

Wow, that's amazing! I didn't know those two were intelligent enough to play chess. I'm not sure I'll believe whenl I see it. I guess I'll have to review the 4 hours of tape to checkout their "chess skills".

Havilah

Phoenix, AZ

April 2006

NOV 14, 2006 10:21 AM

Doesn't everybody have sex and play chess in the first few weeks of their relationship?

Lesson learned: it is true that if you make a sex tape there's always a risk of it being seen.

jason

USA

August 2002

NOV 14, 2006 10:25 AM

LaPetiteMonstre said:
that's horrible...poor britney has to put up with that dirtbag's shit...

yeah he seemed like such a great guy at first, right?

RobotLola

Detroit, MI

June 2006

NOV 14, 2006 10:26 AM

sounds kinda hot

kungfuelbow

I'm lost

December 2003

NOV 14, 2006 10:27 AM

i'll totally pay for the video.

lil_tuffy

MODERATOR

San Francisco, CA

NOV 14, 2006 10:29 AM

Preview: Britney Sex Video

Markus001

United Kingdom

November 2004

NOV 14, 2006 10:37 AM

*prepares statement*

BOOOB-EEEEZZ.

Edit: Britney clearly gives good head.

razumikhin

I'm lost

September 2002

NOV 14, 2006 10:37 AM

I can already see how this video will go:
2 minutes of them having sex followed by 3 hours and 28 minutes of them staring blankly at a chessboard (occasionally with some witty banter such as "I like the horsies", "yeah, I think the horsies are pretty dope, too, baby"). then, they decide to get rid of some of the pieces and play checkers instead...

then, they spend 30 minutes trying to figure out how to play checkers before the tape cuts out.

AndersWolleck

Astoria, NY

February 2003

NOV 14, 2006 10:38 AM

hey someone convert all that money into real money ie american

beaky

Miami, FL

April 2003

NOV 14, 2006 10:40 AM

razumikhin said:
I can already see how this video will go:
2 minutes of them having sex followed by 3 hours and 28 minutes of them staring blankly at a chessboard (occasionally with some witty banter such as "I like the horsies", "yeah, I think the horsies are pretty dope, too, baby"). then, they decide to get rid of some of the pieces and play checkers instead...

then, they spend 30 minutes trying to figure out how to play checkers before the tape cuts out.

yeah with those two I would remove the "witty"