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Alyk

Alyk

Boston, MA
February 2005

NOV 13, 2006 08:46 PM

Tom Cruise and fiancée Katie Holmes arrived in Rome this week for their November 18th wedding. It promises to be quite a spectacle--the couple planned the ceremony in an Italian castle. The bride and groom prepared a huge guest list that reeks of money, fame, and power: Senator John Kerry; fellow scientologist weirdos John Travolta, Kelly Preston, and Kirstie Alley; Victoria and David Beckham; and, of course, Cruise's kids from his marriage. Designer Giorgio Armani created $2 million worth of wedding clothes for the couple to wear as tenor Andrea Bocelli serenades guests.



While all that bullshit is kind of interesting, I'm most interested in the super-freaky wedding vows the two will exchange. Despite Holmes' Catholic upbringing, she and Cruise planned a "traditional" Scientology ceremony, whatever that means.

Tom Cruise will be told to provide future wife Katie Holmes with a "cat" and a "comb" during their scientologist wedding service next weekend.



Excerpts from traditional scientology vows reveal the bizarre demands.



Holmes, meanwhile will be asked to keep Cruise content through a life filled with "fret and pain".



A section from the service reads, "Girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills and a comb, perhaps a cat."



Festivities begin Thursday and climax Sunday with the couple exchanging vows. Sunday also kicks off the countdown to the divorce.



Nice man-bangs.

DhD_No_Pants

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX
May 2006

NOV 14, 2006 03:01 PM

Love that dress.

"catacombs"

xaly

xaly

Albuquerque, NM
July 2005

NOV 14, 2006 03:03 PM

Yes, he set his wedding date to coincide with the release of MI:3 on DVD!

TheAngrySloth

TheAngrySloth

York, ON
September 2003

NOV 14, 2006 03:11 PM

Amazing!!

hadees

hadees

Austin, TX
December 2003

NOV 14, 2006 03:12 PM

And they didn't even invite Xenu? You know with out him there would be no Scientology.

Princelogos

Princelogos

USA
November 2005

NOV 14, 2006 03:21 PM

xaly said:
Yes, he set his wedding date to coincide with the release of MI:3 on DVD!



The DVD is already out on the shelves, but I guess it's close enough.
In MI 4 he will escape from the deadly clutches of holy deadlock.

jason

jason

USA
August 2002

NOV 14, 2006 03:29 PM

Alyk said:
Designer Giorgio Armani created $2 million worth of wedding clothes for the couple to wear...



they will not be sporting full SEA ORG regalia? perhaps armani is updating the uniforms.

zoom image

Seoma

Seoma

HOPEFUL

Santa Fe, NM

NOV 14, 2006 03:42 PM

Girls do need cats. I demand that Tom Cruise buy me a cat!

Or a new apartment I can actually keep my current cat in.

NOW! blush

SirPsychoSexy

SirPsychoSexy

Ridgewood, NJ
January 2004

NOV 14, 2006 03:49 PM

hadees said:
And they didn't even invite Xenu? You know with out him there would be no Scientology.


That's no xenu.
That's Bibble, Fo'shizzle, It's all about Bibble, 'cause only Bibble could keep it so real.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Now there's nothing you can do about the asteroid hitting the earth, and you are all 'gonna die. Except of course me, and Bibble, who graciously offered me a ride in his space ship.

And I'm taking those three cloned white bitches with me.

ckdexterhaven

ckdexterhaven

Redding, CA
December 2005

NOV 14, 2006 03:53 PM

From a purely superficial point of view: guys should never date (and/or marry) girls a foot taller than they are. wink

Annisa

Annisa

SUICIDEGIRL

Michigan, USA

NOV 14, 2006 04:05 PM

clothes, food, frills and a cat!?
sounds good to me miao!! biggrin

Adelayde

Adelayde

Annapolis, MD
September 2004

NOV 14, 2006 04:50 PM

i still can't stand Tom Cruise. puke

Alzy

Alzy

New York, NY
January 2006

NOV 14, 2006 04:58 PM

I get a wedding AND a cat?!? Where do i sign up for this?

jason

jason

USA
August 2002

NOV 14, 2006 05:05 PM

Alzy said:
I get a wedding AND a cat?!? Where do i sign up for this?


here

zenFish

zenFish

Calgary, AB
August 2004

NOV 14, 2006 05:15 PM

i find it funny that she's 2" taller then him.

/shrugs/

AnandaRose

AnandaRose

Greensboro, NC
November 2006

NOV 14, 2006 05:58 PM

Um... ok. Poor Katie. I bet Nicole is thrilled to be off of that train.

bluegiant

bluegiant

United Kingdom
October 2006

NOV 14, 2006 06:29 PM

I LOVE Scientology! The opportunities for humour are endless. A 'religion' created by a fantasist author of Science FICTION (take the hint, guys) who lied about everything from his rank and decoratoins whilst in theUS Navy to being completely blind (until he was MIRACULOUSLY cured) that allows you to move up the ladder of Heightened Consciousness until you become one with the Alien Overmind (provided you keep paying him)!

If the afterlife exists, L. Ron must be looking at this, pissing himself laughing, saying, 'For fucks SAKE guys.. can't you take a frickin' JOKE?!'

Actually, we probably should be relieved that it is mostly navel gazing movie stars and the 'Beautiful People' who fall for this. At least it means they're mainly conning people who can afford it!*grin*

jason

jason

USA
August 2002

NOV 14, 2006 06:33 PM

bluegiant said:
If the afterlife exists, L. Ron must be looking at this, pissing himself laughing, saying, 'For fucks SAKE guys.. can't you take a frickin' JOKE?!'


i love how you bash scientology while suggesting the mere possibility of this scenario.

OffBroadway

OffBroadway

Canada
September 2004

NOV 14, 2006 06:49 PM

Dumping Tom Cruise was the best move I've ever made.

phoenixrising

phoenixrising

USA
August 2005

NOV 14, 2006 07:30 PM

Alzy said:
I get a wedding AND a cat?!? Where do i sign up for this?



*snickers*

dempsey

dempsey

Seattle, WA
June 2003

NOV 14, 2006 09:06 PM

zenFish said:
i find it funny that she's 2" taller then him.

/shrugs/



every time i see those two, i can't help but think of the line from ocean's eleven (the remake): "Tess is with Benedict? She's too tall for him!"


Sunday also kicks off the countdown to the divorce.



this makes me giggle in ways I cannot describe...

PaulNikon

PaulNikon

Melbourne, FL
February 2003

NOV 14, 2006 09:09 PM

Anal probe.

_panda_

_panda_

I'm lost
November 2005
abracadabra

abracadabra

Seattle, WA
April 2004

NOV 14, 2006 11:22 PM

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog says this wedding will be so much fun..."For me to POOP ON!"

sakita

sakita

Sweden
February 2003

NOV 15, 2006 01:32 AM

i still wonder if she screamed during her delivery.... I can tell you, it is no easy task to keep silent, as I screamed the hospital down.

I hate him, I truly do, I refuse to see movies if he is in it, with the exception of The Outsiders, but his part is so small....

He gives me a headache, he is so obnoxious. I hate preachy people, especially preachy people who are convinced that they know EVERYTHING.

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