Since her divorce earlier this year from Nick Lachey, Jessica Simpson really hurts in the dude department. According to reports, she trolled Myspace with a fake profile looking for hook-ups. To hide her true identity, Simpson pretended to be some random broad from Texas.

A source told Britain's More magazine: "After she split up with John Mayer, she set up a MySpace page to meet new people. She did it in a fake name but got really into it. She's totally addicted. Whenever she's at home, she's on her laptop."

Jessica is said to be seduced by the freedom and anonymity internet dating provides.

The source added: "Jessica loves the idea she can use the internet to look for a man who's interested in her personality. She pretends to be this shy Texan girl."

While Simpson pretended to be an average girl from Texas, Im pretty sure she hooked up with a fourteen-year-old, acne-covered, wanker pretending to be a successful stockbroker from Riverdale. Im not sure which side deserves the congratulations.

Jessica's best "cock in mouth" pose.

private_grave

Belgium

April 2005

OCT 29, 2006 03:50 PM

*starts scanning myspace for shy texans*

Rigel

ASSPARTY

California, USA

OCT 29, 2006 03:57 PM

CITM FTW!!!

Psmith

Fountain Valley, CA

OLD SKOOL

OCT 29, 2006 04:06 PM

First time ever that a photo of this girl has aroused me. Perhaps this should be a new genre of porn, christian southern girls with their mouths wide open?

KillaJuggalette

Albion, NY

October 2006

OCT 29, 2006 04:26 PM

Wow . Her and Tripp Eisen have something in common. dirty dirty

PaulNikon

Palm Bay, FL

February 2003

OCT 29, 2006 04:40 PM

Damn! I should have spent more time on Myspace.

photoline

Edmonton, AB

January 2005

OCT 29, 2006 05:08 PM

Shy? I thought she was morally repressed by out-dated Christian ethics....

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA

December 2003

OCT 29, 2006 05:17 PM

Rigel said:
CITM

Cock In The Mouth?

JuniorDeputy

San Rafael, CA

July 2005

OCT 29, 2006 05:22 PM

StarBelliedBoy said:

Rigel said:
CITM

Cock In The Mouth?

Is this similar to her ATM face?

Alyk

Boston, MA

February 2005

OCT 29, 2006 07:01 PM

Rigel said:
CITM FTW!!!

DOSH is going to take over the newswire!

MC_Dove

Cincinnati, OH

November 2004

OCT 29, 2006 07:04 PM

Alyk said:

Rigel said:
CITM FTW!!!

DOSH is going to take over the newswire!

i loved it!

CocoabutteR

Brooklyn, NY

March 2006

OCT 29, 2006 07:47 PM

Dove said:

Alyk said:

Rigel said:
CITM FTW!!!

DOSH is going to take over the newswire!

i loved it!

It's so hot right now.

PRockGirlScout

Portland, OR

October 2005

OCT 29, 2006 09:35 PM

Her hair is so amazing.

MrCrisp

I'm lost

August 2004

OCT 29, 2006 09:39 PM

Jessica Simpson: Whore

fixed.

pascalpp

Brooklyn, NY

January 2004

OCT 29, 2006 09:44 PM

I'd be so bummed if I met a shy Texan girl on myspace and it turned out to be Jessica Simpson.

SouthernDJ

Duluth, GA

September 2006

OCT 29, 2006 10:05 PM

Some people will believe anything. No, I don't have any way of knowing for sure, but come on. She was a virgin at marriage (we think). Nick is the whore. He has the radio stations advertise that "you could hook up with Nick Lashay (sp?) after his concert. BE THE TENTH CALLER!!!".

Do you have any idea how easy it is to create a fake profile on MySpace. I could make one right now that says I'm Vince Vaughn and 1000 people will send me emails.

Isn't there any more important new out there?

avidity

I'm lost

June 2006

OCT 30, 2006 01:50 AM

lol that is hilarious....there is no low for this chick is there??

Clio

SUICIDEGIRL

Netherlands

OCT 30, 2006 02:30 AM

Link to her profile please.

KMFCM

Peekskill, NY

September 2002

OCT 30, 2006 03:15 AM

it'd be pretty funny if she accidentally picked up Scott Stapp
(he does the same shit after all)

HelloCentral

Saint Agatha, ME

February 2004

OCT 30, 2006 05:42 AM

that's hot.

CyberEdZ

United Kingdom

January 2005

OCT 30, 2006 07:24 AM

Suddenly I'm that li'l bit more interested in MySpaz again...

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA

December 2003

OCT 30, 2006 07:41 AM

avidity said:
lol that is hilarious....there is no low for this chick is there??

Why would this be a low for anybody?

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA

July 2004

OCT 30, 2006 08:04 AM

StarBelliedBoy said:

avidity said:
lol that is hilarious....there is no low for this chick is there??

Why would this be a low for anybody?

Because trying to sleep with people you meet online will give you diseases. Duh.

MrCrisp

I'm lost

August 2004

OCT 30, 2006 08:07 AM

Subrosa said:

StarBelliedBoy said:

avidity said:
lol that is hilarious....there is no low for this chick is there??

Why would this be a low for anybody?

Because trying to sleep with people you meet online will give you diseases. Duh.

you would know.

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA

July 2004

OCT 30, 2006 08:09 AM

MrCrisp said:

Subrosa said:

StarBelliedBoy said:

avidity said:
lol that is hilarious....there is no low for this chick is there??

Why would this be a low for anybody?

Because trying to sleep with people you meet online will give you diseases. Duh.

you would know.

I've got two pennecillin dealers on speed-dial.

PAGE:

1 | 2

BOARDS:

TOPICS:

Alyk

Boston, MA

February 2005

OCT 27, 2006 10:22 PM

private_grave

Belgium

April 2005

OCT 29, 2006 03:50 PM

ASSPARTY

California, USA

OCT 29, 2006 03:57 PM

Fountain Valley, CA

OLD SKOOL

OCT 29, 2006 04:06 PM

Albion, NY

October 2006

OCT 29, 2006 04:26 PM

Palm Bay, FL

February 2003

OCT 29, 2006 04:40 PM

Edmonton, AB

January 2005

OCT 29, 2006 05:08 PM

Philadelphia, PA

December 2003

OCT 29, 2006 05:17 PM

San Rafael, CA

July 2005

OCT 29, 2006 05:22 PM

Alyk

Boston, MA

February 2005

OCT 29, 2006 07:01 PM

Cincinnati, OH

November 2004

OCT 29, 2006 07:04 PM

Brooklyn, NY

March 2006

OCT 29, 2006 07:47 PM

Portland, OR

October 2005

OCT 29, 2006 09:35 PM

I'm lost

August 2004

OCT 29, 2006 09:39 PM

Brooklyn, NY

January 2004

OCT 29, 2006 09:44 PM

Duluth, GA

September 2006

OCT 29, 2006 10:05 PM

I'm lost

June 2006

OCT 30, 2006 01:50 AM

SUICIDEGIRL

Netherlands

OCT 30, 2006 02:30 AM

Peekskill, NY

September 2002

OCT 30, 2006 03:15 AM

Saint Agatha, ME

February 2004

OCT 30, 2006 05:42 AM

United Kingdom

January 2005

OCT 30, 2006 07:24 AM

Philadelphia, PA

December 2003

OCT 30, 2006 07:41 AM

San Francisco, CA

July 2004

OCT 30, 2006 08:04 AM

I'm lost

August 2004

OCT 30, 2006 08:07 AM

San Francisco, CA

July 2004

OCT 30, 2006 08:09 AM