NEWS: Oops...Naomi Did it Again

CELEB: Oops...Naomi Did it Again

Yesterday, the lovely Miss Naomi Campbell was arrested in London on suspicion of assault. Hands up--who hates her? Well, you’re crazy. The woman is pure comedy. Someone should give her an award for being one of the most entertaining supermodels, or indeed celebrities, the world has ever known. The fact that it’s all so unintentional just makes it that much more delicious every time she gets into trouble – again, and again, and again. She’s like that little boy who cried wolf – except, of course, she doesn’t so much cry wolf as spit venom like a human volcano and use all the wolf eyeballs as weapons on the next person witless enough to respond to the newspaper ad “Naomi Campbell: Assistant wanted ASAP”

Let's recap:

1998: Campbell assaulted then assistant Georgina Galinas with a telephone and threatened to throw her out of a moving car. In 2000, her record was cleared of the assault charge on the condition that she “showed remorse,” payed Galinas off, and attended anger management classes. Presumably, the money part was where the remorse kicked in, because the anger management classes certainly didn’t.

February 2001- 2002, Campbell spent much of her time suing the Daily Mirror for publishing pictures of her leaving an NA meeting, which she called a breach of confidentiality. Presumably she preferred being thought of as a psycho rather than a cokehead, and vehemently denied her drug problems. She won, but the Daily Mirror won on appeal, as courts decided the pictures were indeed in the public interest. Or at the very least, to potential employees.

March 2005 – Naughty Naomi hires another punchbag, sorry, assistant, Amanda Brack. Her alleged weapon of choice? A Blackberry (handy little things, aren’t they?) Brack also cited assault, battery, false imprisonment and emotion. Well, duh, Amanda. Also that year, Italian actress Yvonne Scio claimed Campbell left her covered in blood after a spat in Rome, wailing “She punched me in the face. She was like Mike Tyson!” Guess she picked up a few moves when they were dating.

March 2006 – Naomi is charged with 2nd degree assault (a felony that carries a minimum of 1 year in prison, and a maximum of 7) for assaulting her new assistant with (wait for it).. a jewel encrusted cellphone! In September, she failed to make it to court for the hearing, presumably mistaking the judge for a fashion show she was headlining.

Which brings us full circle. Her long suffering (and presumably extremely busy) spokesperson said "We believe there has been a misunderstanding. Once police have investigated we are sure this will be resolved."

Of course it will be. Quite how someone as violent as Naomi Campbell has managed to keep her arse out of jail for so long really ought to baffle us, but since the world is designed for beautiful people to get away with far worse, it remains for us (and not her battered assistants) to see the funny side. The funny side, at this point, being Campbell’s explanation for her unruly behaviour.

Lingering abandonment issues. So now we know.

C’mon Naomi. You’re a smart girl. Is that the best you can do?

She just needs to hire a masochist for an assistant. It would be mutually beneficial to both of them. The masochist gets off on the abuse and she works out that supermodel anger of hers. it would be perfect!

Perfect solution!!

I have to admit that I did titter a bit when I heard the news story, yesterday. Well, maybe not so much a titter as a chuckle squeezed through a smirk. A smuckle?

I feel bad for anyone who ever had to work with her, she's like the Incredible Hulk of the supermodel world.

I saw this story on one of the news sites I check out a couple of days ago, and I figured it was just a follow-up to a previous case. I couldn't believe that she'd done it again.

Guess she showed me.

I could take her.

Haha one day she's gonna do that to the wrong person and then she's gonna get the shit kicked out of her and i'd pay to see it.