NEWS: Tyson Wants to Knock the Ladies Around

CELEB: Tyson Wants to Knock the Ladies Around

He’s been accused of knocking at least one woman around. Now Mike Tyson wants official permission to do it.

The former heavyweight champ says he'd like to box women in the ring, particularly professional boxer Ann Wolfe.

Tyson says the whole thing would be a hoot and wouldn’t last more than four rounds. In an attempt to put Wolfe’s mind at ease, Tyson also says he wouldn’t try to actually kill her.

That must be a relief to Wolfe, as well as to the numerous parking attendants, autograph seekers and ex-wives who’ve been on the business end of Mike’s fists.

Tyson, who was once worth an estimated $300 million (give or take), declared bankruptcy in 2003 and remains in serious debt. However, he denies that his new "Mike Tyson’s World Tour" is motivated by money.

[Note: This is my last day as an SG Newswire editor. It’s been a pleasure riffing on the good, the bad, and the so-bad-it’s-good of pop culture. Thanks to everyone who both ripped on me and defended me – you all kick ass. And because I have so little in my life, occasional celeb musings will appear in my SG member blog. Now excuse me as I take solace in a big bottle of schnapps. Yeah, I said it... schnapps.]


"Me, violent? Say that again... I dare you."

Hell yeah, equal rights!

Tyson's a piece of shit. He doesn't deserve to be out on the streets. He is wife-beating, rapist scum and should have been castrated years ago.

i'll hold him down if you wield the scalpel

If he's not Mike Tyson, who is he?

Oh come on Ann, don't be such a fucking pussy.
Accept the challenge ! What are you, a girl ?

Happy Trails, PopMonger.

-TM

Nice article, and you get bonus points for the picture of Tyson in an autographed Maradonna jersey. I wonder if they were blowing lines together before he came up with this great idea?

What is it with this guy and his hatred of women? Did mommy not love him enough, or what? Sometimes I think Tyson is intentionally trying make himself out as one of the biggest assholes known to man. How else could one make any kind of sense of the things he's done? Let's review:

June 30, 1966 - Tyson is born. Fallen angel and ruler of Hell, Satan, cackles with delight.

1978 - At age 12, Tyson is arrested for purse snatching

Feb. 1986 - When asked in an interview of his strategy in the ring one year after his professional boxing debut, Tyson is quoted as saying, "I try to catch them right on the tip of his nose because I try to punch the bone into the brain."

June 1988 - Tyson's wife, Robin Givens, publicly accuses him of domestic violence. Tyson's responds, "Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I would rip her head off. It's all lies. I have never laid a finger on her."

Dec. 1988 - Two New York women, Sandra Miller and Lori Davis, file suit against Tyson for seperate incidents at a nightclub. Miller claims Tyson grabbied her breasts, propositioned her and insulted her. Davis claims Tyson grabbed her buttocks while she was dancing.

April 1989 - A parking attendant in Los Angeles files suit over an incident when he asked Tyson to move his Mercedes and was alledgedly struck by the boxer for his efforts. The suit is later dropped due to lack of witness cooperation.

Nov. 1990 - A New York civil court finds Tyson guilty of battery and awards Sandra Miller the kingly sum of $100. When adjusted for inflation, the sum of $100 in 1990 would amount to roughly... $100 by todays standards.

July 18, 1991 - Desiree Washington, a Miss Black America contestant, befriends Tyson at a pageant rehearsal. She joins him in his hotel room later that evening. Three days later, Washington files rape charges against the boxer.

Sept. 9, 1991 - A special grand jury indicts Tyson on four charges, including the rape of Washington. Tyson is booked and released on a $30,000 cash bond two days later.

Feb 10, 1992 - Deliberating for nine hours, the grand jury finds Tyson guilty for the rape of Washington and two counts of deviant sexual behavior. Two months later, Tyson is sentenced to 10 years in an Indiana prison (4 suspended) and remanded into custody. Fallen angel and underboss of Hell, Don King, weeps. Less than two months into serving his sentence, Tyson is found guilty of disorderly conduct and threatening a guard, adding 15 days to his six-year stay as a guest of the state.

March 1995 - Tyson is released from prison.

June 28, 1997 - Tyson is disqualified from a rematch when he bites off Evander Holyfield's ear. Tyson claims he made chew toys of Holyfields ears as revenge for a head butt Holyfield gave him, resulting in a gash over his eye. The ref of the match ruled the head butt accidental. Attending ring doctor, Hannibal Lector, rules Holyfield's ears delicious with fava beans and a nice chianti. Less than a month later, the Nevada State Athletic Commision fines Tyson $3 million and unanimously votes to revoke his boxing license.

Aug. 31, 1998 - Tyson gets into a fender-bender in Gaithersburg, Maryland. In a rage over damage to his Mercedes, Tyson is alledged to have kicked one driver, Richard Hardick, in the groin and punched another, Abmielec Saucedo, in the face before being restrained by his own bodyguards. Less than a week later, both Hardick and Saucedo file charges against Tyson.

Feb. 5, 1999 - Tyson is fined $5,000 and sentenced to two concurrent two-year sentences and two years' probation after his release for assaulting Hardick and Saucedo. Three years of the sentence are suspended, landing Tyson in jail for one year. 15 days later, Tyson is placed in isolation after throwing a television set at prison guards.

Nov. 18, 1999 - Acting on a tip, members of 24-Carat Ferret Rescue take possession of two ferrets starving to death from Tyson's home. Animal cruelty charges are dropped when authorities are unable to determine who was supposed to be taking care of the animals.

May 19, 2000 - Apparently displeased by her lapdance, Tyson is accused of punching a Las Vegas topless dancer in the chest and hurling expletives at her. Police decline to press charges after interviewing witnesses on the scene, including Tyson. CSI Lead, Gil Grissom, expresses anger towards LVPD detective Jim Brass for failure to make a case.

The list goes on and on.

If Tyson could be bothered to get himself fit he could probably ear a few $s doing K1 or Pride or UFC.

yeah, only when it goes along with what they want at any moment in time, subject to change on a whim....

Those guys would kill him.

who does he think he is andy kaufman.

i don't think you can win a ufc just on boxing and few months of training
tryson swings hard he misses, submission and gameover.

normally I find the "ground and pound" a little boring (too much ground, not enough pound), but I'd pay money to see tyson on the losing end of some gound and pound

I thought he was going to fade into bolivian.

If there's one thing that Kaufman was good at, it was getting attention. So, you wanna get the media to pay attention to you again, you take a page out of his book.

You thought he was going to have gay sex with Jaimie Escalante?

Sorry to see you go, PopMonger.

Mike Tyson makes me sad.