NEWS: My Little Pony

CULTURE: My Little Pony

I generally steer clear of that whole Guinness Book of Records crowd. "Most Overrated Celebrity" (Paris Hilton) and the "World's Longest Hot Dog" (104 feet 9 inches) alone is a volatile combination, but add that dude with the beard of irritable bees and I'm not sure anyone in a 50 foot radius would survive with their innocence intact.

However, occasionally the world's blankest blank isn't a threat to sexual purity, but rather something so sweet and pure that it harkens back to our (or just my) effeminate childhoods. Meet Thumbelina, a 17 inch tall miniature sorrel brown mare who holds the distinction of being the world's smallest living horse.

Like so many animal heroines before her, Thumbelina came into this world only to be faced with depressing odds.

Michael Goessling, son of Thumbelina's breeders:

Thankfully, the problems caused by Thumbelina's tiny body proved to be no match for the pluck and determination caused by her giant heart. Now, at five years old, the lovable horse has a full, stimulating life (by horse standards and my own) and, like all Guinness World Record holders, enjoys a great deal of respect for her solid contribution to the planet as a whole.

But what does the future hold for little Thumbelina? Thankfully, not television commercials or the glue factory!

Good news for the horse, and bad news for the son with no "Wow".

But don't give up, average male! If the precious story of Thumbelina has taught us anything, it's that anything (being really small) is possible (if you're a horse).

In the end, that's all anyone needs to know.

That horses head is the size of the whole friggin tiny horse!

Suddenly, I miss my pony....

Awww I want!!

Thats actually....really cute

I'm pretty sure that's a sausage dog.

Awww that is the cutest thing!

This just in: The 17" horse just squatted the worst smallest turd.

it looks like satan's penis

Anyone else wanna see a monkey dressed like a cowboy ride that thing?

-TM

now that was fucking funny.

a better question would be who wouldn't wanna see a monkey dressed like a cowboy ride that thing.

hoo-RAY!

Oh man, I wanna eat that thing so bad.

Ponies are mean.

When asked for comment, the diminutive equine declined, claiming it was a little hoarse.

THAT PONY'S MINE BETCH!

*flag*

How are they going to breed that thing??? They're gonna have to use some sort of super lube.

FUCKING HORRIBLE. STEP ON IT!!!!