NEWS: Non-Shocker: Backstreet Boy Lost Virginity to Sex Offender

I don't know if I buy this "men and women sexualize differently" assertion. My experience proves otherwise. There is no "man" way to "sexualize" and there is no "woman" way to "sexualize." There are men who are clingy emotional wrecks and use sex to manipulate, just as there are women who love to fuck and don't attach a lot of outside baggage to it. And it's fluid (as swapping bodily fluids always should be!)--no one person is stuck in any one mode forever. An individual may "sexualize" one way with one partner and another way with another partner.

But I'm not really sure what differences you are claiming between the two, so I should only say that you are describing social mores, not objective reality. And those social mores, in as much as they exist, are created by society. Bonobo chimps lick and suck and fuck everybody all the time and they've got a pretty awesome society, from what I hear. And they're our closest animal relatives.


That said, this is not a discussion about the sexual mores of "men" and "women." We are talking about a woman and a child. I am not making any sort of superficial comment about the PURITY OF CHILDHOOD or such subjective matters, either, but there is an unequal power status between the two. She was his teacher--she was in a position of power over him, and such situations are always suspicious. Is it coercion? Was he freely able to consent? Was he freely able to refuse?

-from a guy who does not feel compelled to fuck everybody who winks at him

And yet sex with an appropriate age difference / power-differential is universally wrong, and always in the same ways?

You bring up bonobos as a positive solution of everybody fucking one another. But when it becomes sexual coaching between a teacher and student, and we can't necessarily determine whether coercion was present... who are we to point fingers? I mean, the situation points to a coercive situation, but it also seems like the "victim" doesn't really seem very victimized. So where's the crime, and who gets to draw all lines of sexual conduct?

that loser is one lucky guy...debra is awesome hot!

I'm not as upset about it as I would be in the male teacher/female student scenario for the simple reason that I can remember back to my 13-year old self and determine that I most likely would have had sex with her if it had been offered.

Stupid, I know, but that's where it comes from, for me.

Of course, I'm less concerned about relative age and much more concerned about consent. I think the main problem is that the unequal power relationship between the two makes it hard to be sure how genuine any consent might be. I'd also condemn a 30 year old professor sleeping with a 21 year old student, for exactly the same reasons.