NEWS: MGM Whores Out Films for Dubious Sequels

CULTURE: MGM Whores Out Films for Dubious Sequels

Profit-hungry MGM has announced that, in the grand Hollywood tradition of beating film franchises into the ground, they are resurrecting five movies for sequel treatment.

* The studio has revealed that Legally Blonde 3 is in the works... without star Reese Witherspoon, who wisely turned it down.

* Expect more toned chicks in bikinis for a sequel to the Kate Bosworth-starrer Into the Blue.

* Casting alert: Tall, lithe, blonde women needed for yet another installment in the Species series (#4, for those keeping track). Must be able to look seductive and creepy at the same time.

* MGM aims for the tween set with Cutting Edge 3. Who knew that figure skating was the fall-back of choice for strapping, heterosexual guys who become injured playing "manly" sports?

* Potential travesty: Last on the slate of remakes is WarGames 2. Why?! It’s possible it’ll kick ass, but odds and Hollywood history are stacked against it. Excuse me while I quietly weep.


Shall we play a game?

Excuse while i scream loudly.

How about Disney bringing back "Adventures in Babysitting" starring Raven-Symone

Please don't joke. I'm sensitive about these things.

Kate Bosworth starred in Into the Blue? Was she in that naked lagoon scene with Jessica Alba?

Yea, which one is up for the sequel? If it's Blue Crush, then I would totally hit that up. Into the Blue, not so much.

How about "Legally Blonde 3" "reimagined" as "Legally Blonder" ...to make it not seem like a pre/se-quel . "Species 3" definitely needs to something "Species: Extinct"

I'm still waiting for "Policy Academy 6" (or "Policy Academy: The Beginning")

Wow!! WarGames 2? Timely and relevant! Mayhaps I'll don my stylish pantaloons and powdered wig for an evening on the promenade after partaking of said flicker-show treat.

Police Academy 6: City Under Siege was in theaters in 1989 when I was in 8th grade. I know because I saw it 3 times. One of those times I totally felt up Tracy Montemurro.

Supposedly, there is another Police Academy in the works (this would be the eighth) which would bring Guttenberg back in to the fold, but there has been no news for quite some time, so it may be on the scrap heap.

Yeah, Guttenberg would be crucial. As would that guy who does all those sound effects.

"shall we play a game?"


as for raven in the "adventure" remake....there has been serious talk

agreed, as long as michelle rodriguez signs up.

Yeah, too bad that Bobcat Goldthwait became such a huge star, he would make the 8th installment impossible for moviegoers to stay away from.

Michael Winslow

Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, ?


Why?

When did they make a Species 3? I'm guessing direct-to-video?

Wargames 2 could in fact be relevant in today's day and age. As long as it's not George W. playing Tic Tac Toe. Then we're fucked.



"Ummm, I'll take that "Hey, Vern!" guy for the block. Heh heh, Yahtzee!"

-TM

Yeah, plus they probably blew their budget on Guttenberg. They probably can't even afford the guy who played Hightower.

Wait, when did they make a Cutting Edge 2?

Haha, Hightower. Or the guy that made that made funny noises.

Ok, i was too ashamed to admit, but since the guy above me wondered the same thing, i admit it. I didnt know they made a Cutting Edge 2?

Its about time for a good figure skating flick, for fucks sake.
You guys just dont understand the beauty of figure skating that enchants and beguiles the soul.

Man, according to IMDB, Lassard's almost 90 years old!

Wow, I almost pissed my pants I laughed so hard at that.

Here come the haters. Police Academy + the original players = gold!!!!!!

My bad on confusing water-themed movies with scantily-clad women. Heck, did they even have titles?

Yes, and let us not forget the great G.W. Bailey of "MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!" fame.

No. Please. No.

What if, through some miracle, they manage to get Matthew Broderick back? That could save it, right?