NEWS: The MPAA: Keeping the World Safe from Sex

CULTURE: The MPAA: Keeping the World Safe from Sex

The Motion Picture Association of America and its seemingly random ratings have long frustrated the hell out of filmmakers. Hostel, with its blood-splattered mayhem, rates an R but Team America: World Police gets an NC-17 (later knocked down to R) for some puppet-lovin’?

The new documentary This Film Is Not Yet Rated takes a look at those good folks who decide what is appropriate for people of various ages. (Decapitation is okay, female sexual pleasure is not.) A middle-age, middle-class bunch, they operate out of a nondescript building in the San Fernando Valley. From that lofty perch, they debate such topics as how many sex thrusts constitutes an R rating and what’s to be done about pubic hair.

It's not just filmmakers who must occasionally laugh at the arbitrary ratings process. Even movie critics have a little fun at the MPAA’s expense. When forced to translate those wacky ratings into reader-friendly descriptions, they've come up with a few gems, like these in the New York Times:

“Beerfest” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). It abuses language, drugs, alcohol, human beings and small amphibians, sometimes all at once.

“Step Up” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). It has mild innuendo, one violent incident, two girls who deserve better and no jazz hands whatsoever.

“Zoom” is rated PG (Parental guidance suggested). It has off-color remarks, off-the-rack costumes and off-the-scale monotony.

“Pulse” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). The characters curse, kill themselves and are menaced by evil screensavers.

“John Tucker Must Die” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). It has boys in thongs, girls in bras and comedy in peril.

“Clerks II” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompany parent or adult guardian). It has abundant obscenity and crude sexual humor. I can’t even talk about the donkey.

“Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). Like any respectable country ballad, it has cussin’, fightin’, cheatin’ and drinkin’.

"R.V." is rated PG (Parental guidance suggested). It has crude language, suggestive humor and a staggering amount of raw sewage.

"XXX: State of the Union" is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). It includes dozens upon dozens of gun deaths, violent hand combat, perilously exposed bosoms and crude adult language.

"War of the Worlds" is rated PG-13. Much of the earth's population is wiped out, leaving very little time for sex or bad language.


Possibly the best movie poster ever.

can't wait to see this.

Interesting poster... Not something I'd hail as great or best at all. But I definitley want to see the film

Kirby Dick

*chuckle*

I particularly like the XXX and War of the Worlds comments.

Honestly, I still don't understand why it is the government's job to raise people's children for them. When I was a kid, if a movie was rated R it was like a challenge for us. Me and my friends simply HAD to see it. You know how kids are. Tell them no and they want to do it even more. All ratings do is inhibit artists and free expression. They are useless, even in the case of porn. If it is titled "Cock Lickers IIV" then it probably isn't intended for your children. Duh.

Hmmmm, I'm preaching to the converted again. My apologies.

It's actually not the government. Like most censorship organizations in the U.S., the MPAA is a non-profit regulatory body created by the major industry players - ironically, to avoid a government-dictated film code.

They really hit the nail on the head with this one, though. Definitely want to see it.

Yeah, but at that, it wields a lot of power. A movie can't hope to get in the big chains that dominate the industry now without a rating, and it's clear that the system protects big-studio movies and throws independent movies under the bus. And at the major studios, because having a movie get an R can cut box office receipts, a lot of pressure is put on directors to keep things at a PG-13 level.

I know that that's not the point you're making, but I'm a little tired of hearing this "It's not censorship if it's not the government!" line pop up in discussions like this. In my opinion, if an outside organization applies pressure that makes an artist (I'm using that term as loosely as possible) change the content of their work for political, social, or economic reasons, that's censorship.

my only concern is with the two extremes (too adult or too kiddie)..... Over the Hedge is rated PG, but theres not one curse or Mature innuendo anywhere. Must be the "Scenes of Intense peril" that does it.. good grief.

I Just think maybe the movie descriptions are a bit TOO specific.

*reading from the Netflix content description of "Blue Crush" (quoted from the MPAA rating box)*

Now is it just me or is the MPAA beginning to cross the line between Describing subject matter to concerned parents, and giving out movie ruining spoilers?