I'm going to ask you a simple question and I want you to listen to me...

So the casting director says to me, "Trent, you walked in with the part, you nailed it but we've got to be honest with you. You might be just a little old for the part of brother." So I'm confident because I gave a great read, so I ask "well how old is the part of brother?"
Here it comes...
Because I'm tall,
Here it comes...
...but I look young, don't I ladies? And you know what he says?

Yes. I'll have a scotch on the rocks, please. Anything will do. As long as it's not blended, of course. Any single malt. A Glenlivet or Glenfiddich, prehaps. Maybe a Glengowen. Any "Glen."

Mom, hi. i didn't get that pilot. by the way, i'm Goofy. send more money.

I'll have the pancake breakfast and the Age of Enlightenment.

hang on, voltaire.

what's was the thing?

oh, i don't know what it was. "drugs are bad," "jenny, eat something." whatever. it's after school special bullshit.

I can't even get this guy to notice me.

mike? ...don't ever call me again.

You like laughing at the misery of others?

this is the hot new place, besides, you love pirates. tell me mikey doesn't love pirates?
this is fuckin' post-pubescent disneyland.
you gotta love the pirates, baby. the pirates are money.

Better replace the pin Chi Chi, the natives look restless.

Dude. I'm getting vibed in a weird way. Shit. Who the hell is that? She's looking at me like she knows me?

can i get you something else? i mean, you shouldn't leave without getting something for free.

I coulda been out with Sue some night and told her I was a racecar driver.

No way I met her before. I would definitely remember her.

You don't know my name. You don't know my address. Do you know my address, you nasty dirty little baby!

well, it still sucks, but you start to see that there are advantages to being single.

There are several advantages to being single. This, I know.

well... you can talk to a beautiful woman at a bar without worrying if anyone's watching you.

I really want to catch up with you, but I've gotta take this call. They're holding. I'll talk to you when you get back in town. Bye.

Often...I talk to a beautiful woman at a bar without worrying if she wants to sleep with me. Often I say "thank you......and good night"

I lov... *click*

Yo, Double Down! What time are we leaving?

dude, check it out, dude! i swear to god it's fuckin' on. it's sooo fuckin' on, dude!

...give it up for mike. dude! its fucking on, dude!