NEWS: Greatest Movie Assholes of All Time

CELEB: Greatest Movie Assholes of All Time

GQ magazine completed its list of the “Dickhead Dozen”: the twelve greatest assholes in movie history. You probably have your favorite dicks already picked out, but those who missed out on teen movies from the 1980’s might not be aware of the teen-movie-dickhead criteria. To make judging fair and unbiased, GQ defined a great movie-dickhead.

While we would immediately guess James Spader would grab the top spot with his asshole-ish performances as “Steff” in Pretty in Pink and “Rip” in Less than Zero, but GQ went a different way. Billy Zabka took number one as “Johnny” in the epic Karate Kid, and number ten as “Chas” in Back to School.

Congratulations to William Zabka: number one in our hearts and number one in the Dickhead Dozen. Now sweep the leg, Johnny!


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I know he doesn't quite qualify under these standards, but Chris McDonald as Shooter McGavin is my favorite movie villan of all time. Dammit Oscar, way to overlook a performance.

Some good picks in there, but I have to say my favorite asshole is Matt Mulhern as Teddy Beckersted as the preppy Ferrari-driving prick in One Crazy Summer...



...unfortunately there's not a single fucking photo of him in that movie anywhere on the internet. Information superhighway, indeed.


Runner up would definitely be Michael Bowen as Tommy in Valley Girl. Fucking love him in that role. "Can I have some your hamburger?"

Zabka wasn't even the main badguy!! He handed The Kid the trophy at the end!

He was just misled by an asshole sensei.

or the skiing asshole from better off dead!

thats the dad, not the son. still, great asshole!

Yeah, I blew it.

Funny, jason started a similar thread in the Film group a couple of weeks ago.

We mentioned Ted McGinley, Zabka, Spader Matt Mulhern, the guy from Better Off Dead. It was also noted that Zabka was the bad kid in Just One of the Guys!

I'm too lazy to check, but aren't most of these guys blonde is these roles? It's like the black hat of 80's teen films.

Steve Antin as Troy Perkins in The Goonies.

blonde, athletic, popular, and sneering. the opposite of the intended viewer.

Uh, Bill Pullman (or Paxton, I forget which) as Chet in Weird Science?

Although, I guess to be fair he probably wouldn't qualify under this "rich pretty boy" formula.

anyone notice that zabka's on the list twice? karate kid and back to school?
** i would like to note (as i did on the film group thread) that the ski jerk from better off dead, never did another movie again. he played the perfect asshole.

Ug, Craig Kilborn's horrible performance was the worst part of Old School.

The only funny thing about him anymore is the story about how he committed career suicide at CBS.

to be fair, savage steve holland's twin opus of the teen condition, better off dead and one crazy summer, probably dont deserve recognition because they are more sendups of teen movies than actual dramas. theory is that we're laughing so we never get enough passion to hate the assholes.

screw that. ive hated those assholes since 1984. i hate them today. i hate them for not making the cut. assholes.

Cole from Bachelor Party , "SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!" !!!

Or how about the bearded fuck in Passion of the Christ ! god what an asshole. ha!

The character's name was Roy Stalin, how could they possibly leave him off the list, especially with all those scenes with him trying to intimidate Cusack who's a good foot taller.

The Shark in Jaws. Major asshole.

I think that Bart Conner's performance in Rad deserves at least an honorable mention.



And I deserve a kick in the head for even remembering that.

This is a shitty list. Joe Pesci as Nicky Santoro in Casino was the biggest movie asshole of all time.

What about the dude in Ghost? The guy who kills Swayze and then sleeps with Demi Moore. That guy was an ASSHOLE.