NEWS: When Animals Attack Paris Hilton

CELEB: When Animals Attack Paris Hilton

Finally some good Paris Hilton news: one of her exotic animals attacked her. The socialite’s pet kinkajou—a raccoon-like animal with razor-sharp teeth—turned on her, biting her arm. A Los Angeles hospital treated Hilton, releasing her after a few hours.

Baby Luv, the adorable and apparently intelligent kinkajou, is illegal to keep as a pet, but California law enforcement failed to charge Hilton with any crime. The California Department of Fish and Game once warned Hilton kinkajou ownership is illegal, but the agency failed to follow through on its warning.

In other “Paris Hilton’s Money Should Be Confiscated” news, Hilton has allegedly purchased a grave plot for her pet goat next to Marilyn Monroe’s plot.

A class act, all the way.


Paris and Baby Luv.

In other %u201CParis Hilton%u2019s Money Should Be Confiscated%u201D news, Hilton has allegedly purchased a grave plot for her pet goat next to Marilyn Monroe%u2019s plot.

disgraceful

Best. Story. Ever.

I still want to F her.

I believe the correct words here are WTF and OMG.

I don't understand why it is good news that somebody was attacked by an animal. She might be disgracefully foolish and attention-seeking, but she's not a serial killer or war criminal. She kept a pet illegally. Do we also cheer the day when Tommy Chong lights his face on fire or falls off a balcony?

I love this "kinkajou" already. someone give him a cookie.

I second and even third that-well put!!
In other who gives a flying fuck about Paris Hilton news.....

nah. but if Paris does it, we will all LOL/ROFL!

It's a wild animal. She was warned by the department of fish and game it was illegal to own unless a zoo or other facility that is allowed to own them. She chose to disregard the warnings and because of that she takes her chances with a wild animal that is prone to Bi-Polar like fits. We aren't cheering that she got bit, we're happy that she's being taught a lesson, that money won't protect her from everything.

Funny how similar that is to the South Park episode about her dumb whore ass.

Because she once made a sex tape with Kim Jong-Il. Duh.

I smell an idea for a TV series... or is that just kinkajou poop?

ha ha - I want to too.

damn ... if only the damn thing could also squirt venom from it's fangs .....

more money more problems

I just hope the poor creature isn't too traumatised after all it's been through

uugh.. if its so prestigious and reserved for superstars why would a hilton be there? goat or not.

Holy Shit - WORD UP!!!!
If we want to waste time hating people, there are plenty of worthy contenders:

Alan Greenspan - thief

George Bush - thief/invader

T.V. News anchors - propagandists/ass kissers to those in power

The Prime Minister of Uzbekistan - uh ... he fucking boils people in scolding hot water. this guy is like some unbelievable monster from out of the middle ages.

et al.

Madame, that is quite possibly the single MOST funny thing i have read on SG - nay ANYWHERE.

I am in awe of the wit.

did anyone see the south park episode where the lil dog finally blew his BRAINS OUT cause he couldn't take paris any more
well i think the poor lil kinkajou couldn't muster up the balls to do it himself --so he attacked hilton in hopes to be put away in a zoo if not then be put out of his misery
HAW HAW HAW GOOD FER HER!!!!!!!!!!!

+1!

I dislike her more than ever. Burying a goat next to Monroe? I'm love animals as much as the next guy, but that's just disrespectful.