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Alyk

Alyk

Boston, MA
February 2005

AUG 12, 2006 10:08 AM

Finally some good Paris Hilton news: one of her exotic animals attacked her. The socialite’s pet kinkajou—a raccoon-like animal with razor-sharp teeth—turned on her, biting her arm. A Los Angeles hospital treated Hilton, releasing her after a few hours.

Baby Luv, the adorable and apparently intelligent kinkajou, is illegal to keep as a pet, but California law enforcement failed to charge Hilton with any crime. The California Department of Fish and Game once warned Hilton kinkajou ownership is illegal, but the agency failed to follow through on its warning.

In other “Paris Hilton’s Money Should Be Confiscated” news, Hilton has allegedly purchased a grave plot for her pet goat next to Marilyn Monroe’s plot.

The 25-year-old has reportedly booked a plot in Hollywood's Pierce Bros Westwood Village Memorial Park next to her screen idol. It is also alleged that she has booked a gospel choir to perform at a private funeral at Los Angeles' International Church of Christ.

A source told Daily Star newspaper: "It's absolutely disgusting. Paris booked the plot for a 'Billy Hilton'. "Everybody was very understanding because they presumed it was one of her relatives. But it has transpired that it's just an old goat. Normal people are content to bury their pets in the garden and be done with it. But not Paris. This is one of the most prestigious cemeteries in the world, it's not for animals. It should be reserved for superstars."


A class act, all the way.


Paris and Baby Luv.

bouncybrunette

bouncybrunette

I'm lost
May 2006

AUG 12, 2006 01:07 PM

In other %u201CParis Hilton%u2019s Money Should Be Confiscated%u201D news, Hilton has allegedly purchased a grave plot for her pet goat next to Marilyn Monroe%u2019s plot.

disgraceful

darthspielberg

darthspielberg

Wells, ME
December 2005

AUG 12, 2006 01:08 PM

Best. Story. Ever.

seanvegas

seanvegas

Lincoln, NE
December 2004

AUG 12, 2006 01:13 PM

I still want to F her.

Wren

Wren

SUICIDEGIRL

Minnesota, USA

AUG 12, 2006 01:13 PM

The mind reels. I don't even know what to say. O_O

Kindle

Kindle

Houston, TX
March 2006

AUG 12, 2006 01:17 PM

Wren said:
The mind reels. I don't even know what to say. O_O



I believe the correct words here are WTF and OMG.

ortho7117

ortho7117

Charlotte, NC
April 2004

AUG 12, 2006 01:20 PM

I don't understand why it is good news that somebody was attacked by an animal. She might be disgracefully foolish and attention-seeking, but she's not a serial killer or war criminal. She kept a pet illegally. Do we also cheer the day when Tommy Chong lights his face on fire or falls off a balcony?

legman

legman

Portland, OR
February 2006

AUG 12, 2006 01:21 PM

I love this "kinkajou" already. someone give him a cookie.

gavbass

gavbass

West Jordan, UT
July 2006

AUG 12, 2006 01:23 PM

Kindle said:

Wren said:
The mind reels. I don't even know what to say. O_O



I believe the correct words here are WTF and OMG.



I second and even third that-well put!!
In other who gives a flying fuck about Paris Hilton news.....

Dasha

Dasha

SUICIDEGIRL

Russian Federation

AUG 12, 2006 01:23 PM

nice, i am not surprized nor shocked.

legman

legman

Portland, OR
February 2006

AUG 12, 2006 01:24 PM

ortho7117 said:
I don't understand why it is good news that somebody was attacked by an animal. She might be disgracefully foolish and attention-seeking, but she's not a serial killer or war criminal. She kept a pet illegally. Do we also cheer the day when Tommy Chong lights his face on fire or falls off a balcony?



nah. but if Paris does it, we will all LOL/ROFL!

Kindle

Kindle

Houston, TX
March 2006

AUG 12, 2006 01:24 PM

ortho7117 said:
I don't understand why it is good news that somebody was attacked by an animal. She might be disgracefully foolish and attention-seeking, but she's not a serial killer or war criminal. She kept a pet illegally. Do we also cheer the day when Tommy Chong lights his face on fire or falls off a balcony?



It's a wild animal. She was warned by the department of fish and game it was illegal to own unless a zoo or other facility that is allowed to own them. She chose to disregard the warnings and because of that she takes her chances with a wild animal that is prone to Bi-Polar like fits. We aren't cheering that she got bit, we're happy that she's being taught a lesson, that money won't protect her from everything.

_kungfoo_

_kungfoo_

Los Angeles, CA
April 2005

AUG 12, 2006 01:27 PM

Funny how similar that is to the South Park episode about her dumb whore ass.

Alyk

Alyk

Boston, MA
February 2005

AUG 12, 2006 01:28 PM

ortho7117 said:
I don't understand why it is good news that somebody was attacked by an animal.



Because she once made a sex tape with Kim Jong-Il. Duh.

photoline

photoline

Edmonton, AB
January 2005

AUG 12, 2006 01:31 PM

I smell an idea for a TV series... or is that just kinkajou poop?

Quanta

quanta

I'm lost
June 2006

AUG 12, 2006 01:36 PM

seanvegas said:
I still want to F her.



ha ha - I want to too.

zoton

zoton

Kuwait
November 2005

AUG 12, 2006 01:38 PM

damn ... if only the damn thing could also squirt venom from it's fangs .....

ebernal

ebernal

Chicago, IL
September 2005

AUG 12, 2006 01:38 PM

more money more problems

spamtwo

spamtwo

United Kingdom
April 2006

AUG 12, 2006 01:39 PM

I just hope the poor creature isn't too traumatised after all it's been through

soft_shoulder

soft_shoulder

Madison, WI
May 2006

AUG 12, 2006 01:43 PM



"This is one of the most prestigious cemeteries in the world, it's not for animals. It should be reserved for superstars."




uugh.. if its so prestigious and reserved for superstars why would a hilton be there? goat or not.

Quanta

quanta

I'm lost
June 2006

AUG 12, 2006 01:49 PM

ortho7117 said:
I don't understand why it is good news that somebody was attacked by an animal. She might be disgracefully foolish and attention-seeking, but she's not a serial killer or war criminal. She kept a pet illegally. Do we also cheer the day when Tommy Chong lights his face on fire or falls off a balcony?



Holy Shit - WORD UP!!!!
If we want to waste time hating people, there are plenty of worthy contenders:

Alan Greenspan - thief

George Bush - thief/invader

T.V. News anchors - propagandists/ass kissers to those in power

The Prime Minister of Uzbekistan - uh ... he fucking boils people in scolding hot water. this guy is like some unbelievable monster from out of the middle ages.

et al.

Quanta

quanta

I'm lost
June 2006

AUG 12, 2006 01:57 PM

Alyk said:

ortho7117 said:
I don't understand why it is good news that somebody was attacked by an animal.



Because she once made a sex tape with Kim Jong-Il. Duh.




Madame, that is quite possibly the single MOST funny thing i have read on SG - nay ANYWHERE.

I am in awe of the wit. kiss

SINNisINN

SINNisINN

Edmonton, AB
May 2006

AUG 12, 2006 01:57 PM

did anyone see the south park episode where the lil dog finally blew his BRAINS OUT cause he couldn't take paris any more
well i think the poor lil kinkajou couldn't muster up the balls to do it himself --so he attacked hilton in hopes to be put away in a zoo if not then be put out of his misery
HAW HAW HAW GOOD FER HER!!!!!!!!!!!

Lisa_Why

Lisa_Why

Vancouver, BC
December 2004

AUG 12, 2006 01:58 PM

legman said:
I love this "kinkajou" already. someone give him a cookie.


+1!

David_Aames

David_Aames

I'm lost
June 2006

AUG 12, 2006 02:01 PM

I dislike her more than ever. Burying a goat next to Monroe? I'm love animals as much as the next guy, but that's just disrespectful.

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