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Alyk

Alyk

Boston, MA
February 2005

JUL 19, 2006 08:55 PM

Jessica Simpson’s meddling mother declared her intention to put an end to her daughter’s risqué photo shoots. This week, Meddling Mom prohibited Jessica from posing on a bed while some dude stood nearby with his pants unbuttoned. Meddling Mom freaked at the suggestion that her daughter may have been fucking some dude. On a bed, no less!

Tina demanded the male model keep his trousers on, shouting "Time out! Hold it. Nope, this isn't going to work." Simpson's manager-dad Joe allegedly disagreed with his wife's assessment, but his confidence was ignored.

A source tells OK! magazine, "Tina dug in her heels and said there was no way she'd allow Jess to appear in the layout the way it was designed. She said the pose was too risqué and made Jessica look slutty. Joe was perplexed." Tina reassured him, saying "Trust me, I'm her mother. This isn't the image we want."


Where was Tina Simpson when Jessica was aggressively fellating an ice cream cone on the set of her new video, “A Public Affair”?

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

JUL 19, 2006 09:22 PM

That ice cream cone scene was disturbing on many levels.

seanvegas

seanvegas

Lincoln, NE
December 2004

JUL 19, 2006 09:36 PM

Her pose on the bed made her look slutty???? And everything else she has done in her career hasn't?

Etcee

Etcee

Grandville, MI
October 2004

JUL 19, 2006 09:54 PM

that's a fairly violent looking blowjob

photoline

photoline

Edmonton, AB
January 2005

JUL 19, 2006 09:56 PM

A penis is not a chewtoy!

Necia

Necia

San Francisco, CA
August 2005

JUL 19, 2006 10:40 PM

"Trust me, I'm her mother. This isn't the image we want."



Agreed. Entirely. Good call, Mom.



SPOILERS! (Click to view)
I mean, hinting at sex on a bed? And with only one guy? No chicks, even?

How fucking boring is that? I don't blame Tina for a second. If I had a daughter, I certainly wouldn't want that kind of bland prude image attached to her. Good Lord.

Praetor_Marius

Praetor_Marius

Astoria, NY
July 2006

JUL 19, 2006 10:49 PM

I will continue to imagine that Jessica Simpson gives amazing head, despite the evidence presented in this video.

Mineux

Mineux

HOPEFUL

Torrance, CA

JUL 19, 2006 11:24 PM

"apparently thats what boys like, so thats what i do"

moron... and she should stick to pussy with that kind of mess making wink

Roethke

Roethke

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

JUL 19, 2006 11:42 PM

Wasn't Jessica Simpson originally a Xtian Rock singer?

AndrewB

AndrewB

Victoria, BC
August 2003

JUL 20, 2006 12:04 AM

Isn't she a little old to have her mommy telling her what to do?

RudieCantFail

RudieCantFail

Baton Rouge, LA
January 2006

JUL 20, 2006 12:08 AM

AndrewB said:
Isn't she a little old to have her mommy telling her what to do?



Well it's a bit like the mentally handicapped; her parents still have legal custody of her because she lacks the mental capacity to care for herself.

I apologize in advance to any mentally handicapped individuals who took offense at having Jessica Simpson compared to them. wink

NYHCx516

NYHCx516

Madison, WI
September 2002

JUL 20, 2006 04:04 AM

i just cant stand her. in any capacity.

legman

legman

Portland, OR
February 2006

JUL 20, 2006 06:18 AM

Roethke said:
Wasn't Jessica Simpson originally a Xtian Rock singer?



yup!

AndersWolleck

AndersWolleck

Astoria, NY
February 2003

JUL 20, 2006 06:59 AM

where is this ice cream video you all speak of

Chainlink

Chainlink

Key West, FL
August 2005

JUL 20, 2006 09:04 AM

someone should file a class action suit on behalf of ice cream everywhere.

Alyk

Alyk

Boston, MA
February 2005

JUL 20, 2006 09:47 AM

AndersWolleck said:
where is this ice cream video you all speak of



It's hypnotic.

Avalon13Chase

Avalon13Chase

Baltimore, MD
June 2006

JUL 20, 2006 09:53 AM

holy crap..im scared and ill..

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

JUL 20, 2006 10:00 AM

Alyk said:

AndersWolleck said:
where is this ice cream video you all speak of



It's hypnotic.



It's like she's throwing it back up into the cone. I'm terrified, and yet I cannot look away. shocked

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

JUL 20, 2006 10:03 AM

I'm getting a very "Soft-Serv" vibe from that.

Thrasher

Thrasher

Mesa, AZ
September 2002

JUL 20, 2006 10:15 AM

Alyk said:

AndersWolleck said:
where is this ice cream video you all speak of



It's hypnotic.



puke

Hooraydiation

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA
October 2005

JUL 20, 2006 10:16 AM

legman said:

Roethke said:
Wasn't Jessica Simpson originally a Xtian Rock singer?



yup!



Alas, her breasts were too big for her to be a successful Christian musician. Luckily, secular pop-stardom was there for her to fall back on.

PatrickY

PatrickY

Vancouver, WA
December 2003

JUL 20, 2006 11:14 AM

_DictionaryGirl_ said:

Alyk said:

AndersWolleck said:
where is this ice cream video you all speak of



It's hypnotic.



It's like she's throwing it back up into the cone. I'm terrified, and yet I cannot look away. shocked



Haha. That just added a whole new, disturbing dimension to the image. Nice work.

smile

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

JUL 20, 2006 11:15 AM

I told you. Disturbing on many levels.

MC_Dove

MC_Dove

Cincinnati, OH
November 2004

JUL 20, 2006 11:16 AM

_DictionaryGirl_ said:

Alyk said:

AndersWolleck said:
where is this ice cream video you all speak of



It's hypnotic.



It's like she's throwing it back up into the cone. I'm terrified, and yet I cannot look away. shocked



same here...i'm actually starting to get a bit nauseous.

Necia

Necia

San Francisco, CA
August 2005

JUL 20, 2006 12:32 PM

Alyk said:

AndersWolleck said:
where is this ice cream video you all speak of



It's hypnotic.



Jesus. The whole time I was thinking, "Man, how bad can this ice cream cone bit be, honestly?"




And now I know: pretty goddamn bad.

Huh.

surreal


Hey, P.S. It's not hypnotic. It's just repeatedly upsetting. There's a difference, yanno.

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