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Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

JUL 18, 2006 04:13 PM

This guy and his family must've stepped out of Lynch's Wild At Heart or something. I mean, they are like NASCAR white-trash.

I was watching an episode last night and I was disgusted somewhat by how disturbing they were, but I could not pull myself away.

First, you've got 'the Dog' (ooh, what a cool and scary name that is) with his skin so tanned it's like bad leather...not to mention that god-awful blonde mullet, with the beads and shit in it, and the bad leather clothes he wears

Then you've got his sons...one with permanent bedhead and a bulky body, and then the other one "Leland"...again, bad tank-tops and cammo pants (what are you, GI Joe?), and really bad tattoos...also guy, since you've got big ears, severely pulling yr ponytail back all the time is not a good look...neither is having a ponytail

Then his wife, and this is where the Wild At Heart bit really kicks in...does she not remind you of Diane Ladd from that film...with the big bad blonde mess of hair and nails...and also, forgive me for saying this if it offends anyone, but having those large breasts, wouldn't that cause some back trouble at some point?

and then there's Dog's brother, who is essentially an older version of Leland, but with bad facial hair

and they all wear terrible sunglasses

but what gets me is how serious they take themselves...maybe it's for the cameras, but whatever...i caught a little sound bite where Dog was apparently telling a criminal "I Will not stop chasing you till my last dying breath" or something like that...ooh, how tough...and when they're closing in on a criminal, the guys get so pumped up, like excited little kids playing laser tag or something...they probably even get hard-ons as well...and when they tackle a suspect, it's a bunch of macho yelling and "GET DOWN MOTHERFUCKER, WE GOT YOU NOW!" and other such shit-talking, especially when they get the guy in cuffs...wtf, this isn't a fucking Texas raccoon hunt...and then Dog gives his preachery-little speech to the suspect or whatever, and there's always praying involved somewhere before 'the kill'

for once, I'd like to see a criminal play with them and actually win and escape justice, just once...and for someone to get hurt, and for them to have to pay a $75000 bail outta their own pockets...just once

i dunno, maybe i'm just a jerk, but that's my rant

SnakePlissken

SnakePlissken

Corvallis, OR
December 2002

JUL 18, 2006 04:19 PM

I kinda like his show.

aleksa

aleksa

Tacoma, WA
April 2006

JUL 18, 2006 04:27 PM

I think I like the show BECAUSE of their white trashiness rather than in spite of it. And yeah, I feel the Macho Man Randy Savage connection, now that I think about it. He does have that vibe.

Necia

Necia

San Francisco, CA
August 2005

JUL 18, 2006 04:28 PM

dkmfc said:
it's like if randy macho man savage, streamers tied around biceps and all, decided to go out chasing after meth heads.
after he's retired and fat.
in hawaii.
with a wife that looks like, well, awesome.

how much more awesome can a show be?? are you dead inside??



I'm just adoring your descriptions here. They're perfect. Seriously.

I never watch the show, but that's not necessarily deliberate. I just never make a point to. I wouldn't necessarily insist on changing the channel if I happened upon it. The guy cracks me up. Fuckin' . . . go get 'em, Dog.

Salem

Salem

SUICIDEGIRL

Mississippi, USA

JUL 18, 2006 04:29 PM

I fucking love Dog.

jason

jason

USA
August 2002

JUL 18, 2006 04:42 PM

dkmfc said:



is that a new special kind of acid wash that i dont know about yet?

aleksa

aleksa

Tacoma, WA
April 2006

JUL 18, 2006 04:43 PM

dkmfc said:





"snap into a slim jim motherfucker!! oh yeah!"



BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! That's awesome!!

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

JUL 18, 2006 04:43 PM

all right, well, fuck me then. i cant stand the guy, or his clan. or anyone like them.

MStar33

MStar33

Evans, CO
January 2005

JUL 18, 2006 05:09 PM

None one is as bad ass as Leland. He is an eigth degree blackbelt, a MMA fighter, and a really cool guy. I've known DOG for quite a few years. Hell his bond shop was just a bit down the road from where I trained MMA

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

JUL 18, 2006 06:27 PM

Cassiel said:
all right, well, fuck me then. i cant stand the guy, or his clan. or anyone like them.



You don't like the idea of Southern Spirit. Deep down you're just another white male upper class supremacist who wants nothing more than the protection of your way of life through the destruction of others.

I've been reading your Dixie-bashing and it's getting really annoying.

JohnClement

JohnClement

Silver Spring, MD
January 2004

JUL 18, 2006 06:32 PM

MisterLinguist said:

Cassiel said:
all right, well, fuck me then. i cant stand the guy, or his clan. or anyone like them.



You don't like the idea of Southern Spirit. Deep down you're just another white male upper class supremacist who wants nothing more than the protection of your way of life through the destruction of others.

I've been reading your Dixie-bashing and it's getting really annoying.



I think he's from the South.

Salem

Salem

SUICIDEGIRL

Mississippi, USA

JUL 18, 2006 06:49 PM

dkmfc said:



he's pinky-ing her nipple i think

Salem

Salem

SUICIDEGIRL

Mississippi, USA

JUL 18, 2006 06:51 PM

Cassiel said:
all right, well, fuck me then. i cant stand the guy, or his clan. or anyone like them.



*cracks knuckles and spits*

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

JUL 18, 2006 07:05 PM

BillHaverchuck said:

MisterLinguist said:

Cassiel said:
all right, well, fuck me then. i cant stand the guy, or his clan. or anyone like them.



You don't like the idea of Southern Spirit. Deep down you're just another white male upper class supremacist who wants nothing more than the protection of your way of life through the destruction of others.

I've been reading your Dixie-bashing and it's getting really annoying.



I think he's from the South.



this is true...I was born in TN and raised there for the first 14 years of my life...I will never go back...I have disowned the place...too many bad memories of the place...as far as I'm concerned, Denver, CO is my home

jason

jason

USA
August 2002

JUL 18, 2006 07:07 PM

Cassiel said:
..as far as I'm concerned, Denver, CO is my home


just like dog the bounty hunter?

Salem

Salem

SUICIDEGIRL

Mississippi, USA

JUL 18, 2006 07:20 PM

jason said:

Cassiel said:
..as far as I'm concerned, Denver, CO is my home


just like dog the bounty hunter?



+1

Cassiel

Cassiel

Aurora, CO
September 2004

JUL 18, 2006 07:26 PM

jason said:

Cassiel said:
..as far as I'm concerned, Denver, CO is my home


just like dog the bounty hunter?



he's in HI, and as far as I'm concerned, that's his home

yeah, I know that sounds like a desperately cheap shot/comeback, but I don't give a fuck, because I'm a jerk

DhD_No_Pants

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX
May 2006

JUL 18, 2006 07:29 PM

I'd invite the Dog over for dinner any day of the week!
C'mon in honey, I got the pork chops fryin and sweet tea on to make. Where is that sweet family of yours? Set down, set down, and tell me all about what you been up to!

Sorry, all that talk bout Dixie bashin made my South come out.

I do heart the Dog though!

PaulNikon

PaulNikon

Palm Bay, FL
February 2003

JUL 18, 2006 07:34 PM

I'd come over for dinner anytime.

I dislike the dog show though.

zenFish

zenFish

Vancouver, BC
August 2004

JUL 18, 2006 07:41 PM

he's been involved with some rather high profile cases, and helped catch the 'bad guy' for those.

white "trash" or not, he's good in my books, and a person I'd love to meet in my own lifetime.

if just for a coffee... errr beer.

Pariah9

Pariah9

Omaha, NE
July 2006

JUL 18, 2006 08:35 PM

How can anyone say they don't like Dog because he's too white trash? Do you not get it? That's what the show's about. That's like saying COPS is unwatchable with all the shirtless, drunken trailer rats. Without Dog and his ubermullet, who would even care?

First of all, they don't call him "Dog" because its tough or cool. Just look at the guy. He's got a face like an English Bulldog, teeth and all.

Second, Leland's his nephew, not his son.

I defy anyone to say they have seen anything on television, reality television in particular, that functions as such a spectacle as Dog. I have personally seen an episode in which Dog was stabbed in the shoulder with a broken crack pipe and later wept openly at the high school graduation of his nephew. That, ladies and gentlemen, is an emotional dynamic.

More than anything, the thing that makes the show great is the fact that these people, in all their freakish, inbred, white trash glory actually exist! That's the whole point of reality TV! Nobody could write shit this bizarre! Who would create characters like this? There's really a family in Hawaii running around chasing bad guys dressed like extras from Mad Max?! .And they don't realize they're completely insane?! That's just good fucking TV, my friend. Sign me up.

Seriously, though, I don't know how Beth even breathes under those breasts. I keep waiting for her to smother or something

Pariah9

Pariah9

Omaha, NE
July 2006

JUL 18, 2006 08:50 PM

I stand corrected. Leland is, in fact, son of the Dog.

I should also point out that Dog's website is surprisingly well-made.

Dog

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

JUL 18, 2006 09:13 PM

The Dog is an american legend.

Cassiel: you're erally annoying and lemme tell ya. YTour home is where you're from, not where you are at. If you cannot live with the fact that you are a southerner then please don't waste our time by being a prick about teh South.

Alisa

Alisa

SUICIDEGIRL

Ohio, USA

JUL 18, 2006 09:50 PM

aleksa said:
I think I like the show BECAUSE of their white trashiness rather than in spite of it. And yeah, I feel the Macho Man Randy Savage connection, now that I think about it. He does have that vibe.



AHHHHH!!!!! now that makes sense why i like that show. i couldn't ever figure out what it was about him that was endearing to me and that's it!!!!!

i feel so retarded that i didn't catch that connection sooner
duh!!!


thanks

neverender

neverender

Pleasanton, CA
January 2003

AUG 24, 2006 10:16 AM

dkmfc said:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leland_Chapman

leland's his 3rd son.

and I find it hilarious that they named their bail bond business after herb.



da kine has nothing to do with weed. da kine is a term mostly used to describe something really good. saying "this is da kine bud" is the same as saying "this is some super good bud." i know this cause ive seen the super accurate movie "north shore" a million times. smile

but i love the show. i like how pumped up they get to catch their target but then they always break down once they have the person in custody. they turn into a bunch of saps and want nothing more than to just help the person.

NO ICE IN PARADISE!

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