My Ex is getting married...

Not sure where to put this topic but this seems as good as any place.

So a girl I lived with for almost two years is getting married. While that in of itself was sort of a shock, she is marrying the first guy she started dating after she and I broke up.

I'm not pissed or anything because I kinda like the guy, and she is still on my goodside even if we don't talk every month but the whole "I used to live with her and now she is getting married" thing totally floored me. To top if off, this is the THIRD girlfriend of mine to get married to the FIRST guy she dated after me.

First one was most heartbreaking because we broke up for college, and she met a guy there. Second one was kinda odd but nothing big. Now this third one is the first last and only girl I've ever lived with. I'm gonna develop a complex or something

Anyway, any of you have this happen? How did you react if at all? I myself am just sorta shocked.... and I sent them both an email congratulating them and wishing them luck. Was that outta line?

Exact same thing happend to me.

how did I cope?


I did'nt, I went really nuts, never got better either.


I now hate myself and my life.

great how somebody else has the power to do that to you.


anyways my point is, despite that i can;t cope with it, don't let it get you down you know things happen for a reason right?

just wait for her to get divorced, then slide in for the rebound

It's happened to two of my friends. One involved the girl breaking a proposal to date his best friend, then they got engaged a few months later. It messed up both of the guys for a while. Way I see it is, if your relationship didn't work out, then it's good you're not together anymore. Now the new guy is either more compatible, therefore a better choice for her, or he'll face the same thing that caused your relationship to end, so it's kinda his problem now. Just because you aren't her ideal doesn't mean he's a better personal than you are.

It's good that she's still on your good side, but don't think you have to let her be to be mature. If it's causing you pain, there's nothing wrong with not having her be a part of your life anymore. Don't be an asshole about it, you don't even hafta say anything about it, just stop contacting her and she'll get the message.

And as long as you weren't passive aggressive in the slightest, I think a congratulations would be genuinely appreciated. Hang in there.

First, that's a crappy situation, but you seem to be as nice and well adjusted about it as someone possibly can be. A little sad is normal.
Second, a funny similar situation. An ex who I stayed friends with got married and at the reception and after way too many glasses of wine her mother told me she liked me better than the groom and proceded to list his shortcomings vs my strengths. There were a ton of people around and I nearly died of embarassment.

Yup. My ex of 7 years got married last year to the first guy she dated after me. And she did it on my birthday. And then sent my mother a wedding announcement. That's how I found out, my mom. Nice.

I'm not exactly sure what any of this means (though I have some ideas), and I'd rather not speculate. But the people I've told about this have generally agreed that it's pretty strange behavior. Did it bother me? No. It simply reaffirmed the decision I made earlier to leave her. It made a feel a bit sad for her sake as well.

No, I don't think your e-mail was out of line. But did you really mean what you said, or was that done for effect?

This happened to me in high school. My ex-girlfriend, who is/was a vegetarian, ended up marrying a butcher and living on Hilton Head. Kinda strange, huh?

I have a feeling that this happens quite frequently, especially since the divorce rate is so high, lord knows that the boyfriend/girlfriend separation rate is as high or even higher.

You must be giving these former girlfriends a good foundation; otherwise, how can you see them leave you and find new love and marriage? Of course, it is only natural for a former partner, especially a younger one, to seek out new love, so this may have nothing to do with you, per se.

It is good that you have been friendly with your former girlfriends and their partners (as long as it is well-received). This can only help you in the long run. I can't say that I have been this lucky.

If it starts to depress you, you could visit the SG Depression Outlet group here to sort out your feelings and/or receive some advice.

Good luck.

I just found out a few months ago that my ex is pregnant and had a shotgun wedding with her manager from Applebee's. How you like them apples? I mean, I broke up with her, and she's a psycho...but still. That shit is crazy.

So are you more disturbed that your ex's get married and you're left alone or do you care so deeply for these girls that it matters somehow that they find happiness with someone that isnt you? The way I see it is that you shouldnt sweat it. Dont feel obligated to get married or need some sort of deep meaning in your life right now because then you'll just settle for someone and things will suck. Be patient wish your ex's the best and rejoice in your freedom. If you feel lonely then start dating more.

My email to them was the same to both, I just sent it to both of them. It read:

"Hey [names omitted]!

I just heard about you two, congratulations. I hope you guys continue to make each other happy.

Good luck!

--my name"

Now I meant that sincerely... but re-reading it can make it sound sorta sarcastic... but I'm happy for them. I'm just still shocked it's happening at all. Especially since they had a rough spot for awhile and she called me up to complain about all his inadequecies. I'm just straight up confused thats all.

My ex got married less than 4 months after we broke up. And we broke up because he "didn't have time for a relationship." Even though we established a shaky friendship not long after he married, he didn't actually tell me about it for many more months. When he did tell me, I felt like I had had my heart broken all over again. But it made me realize that I wasn't over him, as much as I tried to convince myself otherwise. Knowing that he was married (and happy, oddly) was the kick in the ass I needed to move on. And I did, quite promptly. And now we have a real friendship and I love him. In a good way.

My ex is getting married.... to a girl that he cheated on me with. Blah

Maybe it is not you......maybe what she found is balance and someone who completed more of the mental image she had in mind......I mean you could have been a great guy but were missing a few things that she really needed for long term happiness.....be the bigger man tell them you are happy for and go to the wedding....everyone knows how easy it is to score at wedding.....sheesh and you never know...you could be walking down the aisle next.
and for the record...before I met the love of my life...I lived with three diffrent girls for 2 years or more....sometimes the whole "lets play house" deal is what you need in order to truly find out what you want and need out of a partner in crime to make it work for good

Keep it simple... hire a hitman!!!

I don't know where people are getting that I'm sad about this... I'm not... It's just very weird. She wanted to marry me, but I wasn't ready for marriage.

it won't last

Yep, it's happened to me twice already, and I'm not even twenty yet. First one wasn't a big deal. We broke up on good terms, and her husband is a great guy and so much better for her than I am. However, this most recent one is really getting to me. Pretty much the same situation as yours. Two years we were together. Had a life planned out. She changes her mind right out of the fucking blue. Gets rid of me right after our two year anniversary. Fucks a bunch of random guys. Meets one two months ago. They're engaged. Tattoos of each other's names... And they are getting married sometime in July. I could have married her. Now I'm glad I didn't of course.

Happened to me I screwed up and took the love of my life for granted after my work hours got a lot worse she mpoved out and 2 months later I realized what a dumbass I was called her to try and get her back onyl to find out she just got married. Couldn't be mad since everything bad that happened was my fault. I deserved it and will never screw it up again.

Happened to me I screwed up and took the love of my life for granted after my work hours got a lot worse she mpoved out and 2 months later I realized what a dumbass I was called her to try and get her back onyl to find out she just got married. Couldn't be mad since everything bad that happened was my fault. I deserved it and will never screw it up again.

WHOA right there...i have a topper!
my ex-husband is getting married to his girlfriend just as soon as we are divorced. (hopefully any day now) did i mention that she is the forst person that he dated when we very first split up...that she is pregnant (due in sept)...and that she used to be a best friend of mine?
that and my ex and i have a son so i have to deal with him for the rest of my life.

im not trying for any kind of pityfest...i am just saying that i am ok. shit happens and you learn to deal with it one way or another. i hope things go well for you.

[Edited on Jun 30, 2004 by Eden]

It's always tough after a relationship, when you both move on but someone seems to move on better. It sucks don't deny it, don't sweeten it, it hurts, not only am I not the one for you but WHAM next horse out of the gate wins. It is crap. What you should do is just what you are doing, put it in perspective, talk about it, and move on. Ultimately, you can't change what she's doing, if you want her back or something, the best you can do is live your life to the best, if she wants in, your choice. If she doesn't, well, chances are if your having a good time, someone else will. Bad mouth her, even if you like her, it helps. example is a "poem" I wrote about a guy that my ex dated after me, go for it!

thats some depressing shit, but i dunno why you care or still talk to her even.
im not a big fan of the "friends after a relationship" thing. it doesn't do any good for the heart
'cause no matter how "cool" you're with her after the fact, you still harbor feelings

i suggest listening to "to all the girls i've loved before" and smoking a joint. you'll feel better

as they say, three's a charm......luck/love will come your way soon enough!

A couple shots of whiskey wouldnt hurt either.

I think when you talk to an ex, you gain a bit of insight into some of your bad habbits and mannerisms, granted you must temper these thoughts with the fact that there's probably a part of that person that doesn't like you, but still a little self-ed can't be a bad thing.