NEWS: Asshole Fuckface Roundup #35

You say a lot of dumb shit.

I found the lone gunman!

yay!

Was he hiding behind the couch? I swear, I have to chase dozens of the fuckers out from behind mine. Damn things are like roaches.

Hey... can I order the Lake Chao Blue Plate Special in my local Chinese resturant? Mmmm... 3 eyed carp and glow-in-the-dark blue algie. Yum!

As far as the zombie apocolypse goes... I'm convinced that it's already upon us. I work retail... and I can assure you, there's alot of walking dead out there.

And ya know? This whole week's round-up sounds like it came right out of a Simpson's episode.

A little follow up to the newly christened "Drill of Ridiculous Fuck-Assery"--

Utah students hide guns, head to class.

Epic fail.

the Epic fail is all on the state of Utah in that one, i think. fail from "Nick," sure, but his fail is most likely heavily influenced by the fail of the state because it allows it to happen legally. they then go for the Epic fail by now trying to allow them to carry guns openly.

(it tickled me in my Feudal Japan funny bone to read that a representative with the surname of Oda is sponsoring the bill)

The fuckin' Communists will be the death of us all.

Thank you. And now for the translation:

"I think I have something witty to say, and sincerely believe everyone will know exactly what I'm talking about without either eleborating or giving some clue as to whether I am serious or not."

Thank YOU. And now for the translation:

I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean...S-M-A-R-T!

As a former security professional I frequently carried firearms of various types, both open and concealed. When in any country where it was important I always followed local regulations. There were others where it didn't matter. I was often heavily armed for a period of about five years. When I left the field I couldn't wait to get the fucking guns out of my belt and out from under my jacket. I haven't carried a firearm since and hope that there is no reason to compel me to do so again. Carrying a firearm is a lot of work and a lot of responsibility. Any sidearm has bulk and has to be carried somewhere on the body. If you carry extra ammunition (loose or in magazines) then they are likewise somewhere on your person. Both are heavy, hard and bulky (+/-). Someone my size cannot go out in blue jeans and a T-shirt and carry concealed. I always had to dress very carefully to maintain concealment. Want to go run out and throw a frisbee around? don't do it while carrying, because when you reach up high for the disc and your jacket/shirt concealment outfit exposes your piece folks might get weirded out and call the cops. Try getting cozy with a woman or getting comfortable in a car with all the lumps. It sucks. Then please remember that you are not going into any bars armed because thats just stupid. Don't get into any arguments with anyone, no matter how minor, as the potential danger of escalation is too great. Get pulled over for a minor traffic violation and just watch the poor cops face when you inform him (which you are required to do) on his arrival at your drivers side window that you are carrying a concealed firearm. Better still, when you are a passenger and a friend is driving who does not know you have a gun on you. Last time you get a lift from them (and anyone else who hears about it, too). I can only recall one side benefit and that was living next door to a house full of high school aged brats and a widowed mom who was no match for her spawn. They were scared shitless of me and I never had to ask more than once for them to keep it down after midnight.

BTW, whoever the genius was who thought up that "Gunman drill" is a complete idiot. I suspect its a former law enforcement professional who can't get hired on a decent force.

Conserva-monkeys stole my comment!

This may be the first time ever that I have been insulted via the subtle ninja art of "cheer." I am put in my place.

Thank you for a thoughtful contribution to the discussion.

You must be a real hit around the watercooler with your pedantic putdowns.

Nope, most people think I'm an asshole.

Now, would you care to explain your initial comment, or should we all just keep guessing?

Touche' sir, well played, well played... You are indeed absolutely right about the shotgun being the premier zombie defense weapon.

In all seriousness I couldn't care less if guns have affected crime rates one way or the other, I simply refuse to allow the loss of another right that I currently have.
In reality, just like my right to freedom of speech, my right to bear arms doesn't really accomplish anything in the eyes of todays elected officials... Just like I would never wish to impede upon the rights of others no matter how silly I may believe that right to be, my silly and antiquated (yes antiquated) right to bear arms should be respected; after all its no more dangerous than freedom of religion

apologies for the poor formating the spoiler feature failed.

you would not believe the depth of the zombipocalypse discussions my friends have entered into.

Actually, nevermind. I've lost interest. I've become preoccupied by the forthcoming zombipocalypse.

I sleep with a loaded sig226 and 12 gauge next to my bed just in case the zeds break in to the house. plenty of ammo ready too. most likely I would not know the full extent of the outbreak till the morning and hopefully there would still be radio and internet or something to tell me which streets were travel worthy and which were choked with roving bands of the living dead.

what if the net is down? what about a place to hide? transportation that's fairly zombie-resistant? supplies? plans for getting supplies?

science, i don't even know why the hell it matters. there is no zombipocalypse. it's like christians preparing for Revelations to come true.

Actually I have that covered, part of being a rabid anti zombie preparedness freak means I actually have this all planned out. So do my friends. we have pre set meeting points and places we need to raid for supplies etc etc

I actually used to enjoy the asshole fuckface roundup...there are getting to be a couple of problems there:
1:The above fuckfaces are getting much more serious in their destruction of the world we need to live in ie:china
2:The above fuckfaces are getting much more serious in their destruction of the world we need to live in ie: School shootings (anyone doing this, or having a thought of this needs to relax, calm down, and not kill people)
and: as a school (said drills should not result in a situation where people are stressed just as if this was a school shooting, and maybe people get shot?!!!!?!?!)
Can't we all just get along?
Can't we all at least sit down, have a drink, or your drug of choice, and chill out?
I mean "damn" everyone needs to calm the fuck down...
I grew up during the 70's(some really embarassing pictures), went to school through the 80's, which wasn't bad, and actually grew up in the 90's...(rough trip, but not horrible)so far the 21st century seems to be the worst of everything...been a hell of a long ride for me...but I am not out shooting people...
The 21st Century so far has been a long DARK ride....but people..calm down..it's not the end of the world...before thinking of suicide or homicide assisted suicide...just think of what you will see if you just hang on and see what is next....
what got me through was the realization that if I killed myself, it was over, and I didn't even get to see what was next

"A parallel reason is a protest against the American Left and the Democrat Party "


That's DEMOCRATIC Party, you dead jerk!