NEWS: The Republican Candidates Are Retarded Cavemen

POLITICS: The Republican Candidates Are Retarded Cavemen

Last week the Republicans held two debates. To say it was like watching aliens would be an understatement. This could be the most idiotic group of men ever to run for the White House. Their understanding of the world is childlike and their solutions even more so. When one of these men is elected (steals) to the presidency, we are completely fucked as a nation. I do not see how we could possibly survive another four years of this ignorant bullshit.

They have no intention of moving away from the great policies of George Bush, because obviously he has done such an awesome job. It is completely baffling that five adults can sit on stage during a debate, in the year 2008, and argue over who backs the president more. Now, I expect stupidity from these fucking morons and I am rarely disturbed by their caveman grunts and screams, but when the topic turned to terrorism and they ganged up on poor Ron Paul, I kind of lost it.

Don’t get me wrong; I think Ron Paul is an idiot. Besides his views of foreign policy, he may be the most moronic of them all. Yet, he is very intelligent and thoughtful when it comes to foreign policy.

Ron Paul made the mistake of pointing out that we should take responsibility for our policies that led to 9/11. Seems like a position that any mature, reasoned man would take. If someone attacks me, there is usually a reason. Strange people just don’t walk up to me on the street and punch me in the face. That is just not how life works.

Here is Paul’s statement that set off the idiots:

Oh, how dare you speak the obvious! This is a Republican debate, thinker! A good-looking retard named Mitt was the first to respond.

All? I have missed the attacks on Iceland? Also, Switzerland, Finland, blah, blah, you get the point. It’s a hollow and bullshit argument. The countries that have been attacked have mostly been those whom helped us with Iraq and Afghanistan. What the terrorists are trying to do is bring down governments that are not moderate, like Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Egypt. You know, the dictatorships that the US props up. Anyone who is using just 1% of his or her brain should know this.

Mitt then goes into a rant in which he says we should thank George Bush for keeping us safe. Just ignore the horrible attacks on our allies, Spain and England, as well as the many Australians targeted and killed in Bali.

That’s when old, lazy Fred Thompson jumps in and brags about his experience and nearly fingers himself because of it. All his experience has apparently taught him that crazy Muslims are bad. Whodda thunk?

Thank God Rudy was there to set everyone straight.

Wow, you gave back $10 million dollars because somebody said we should change our foreign policy, and actually have the nerve to brag about your moronic, heinous decision? For those of you who don’t know what the Twin Towers Fund is:

Only a great, educated, selfless man would turn down $10 million dollars for families of dead rescue workers because the donator said the US should take a look at its foreign policy. He rejected money for grieving families because of a TRUTHFUL comment. Rudy Giuliani is a viper. Thank God he wasn't done.

That is pretty much the psychotic view of things, yes. He a stain on face of the Earth and someone needs to get a sponge.

It is over? No fucking way. Ron Paul then attempts to explain to the idiots why foreigners, who suffer at the hands of our foreign policy, are upset because we attempt to force our beliefs on them. Romney calmly lets us know why he is retarded again.

Rudy cackles! Because it’s fun! It is fun how crazy Ron Paul is being with his well thought out criticisms of our foreign policy and his belief that there is usually a cause for violent attacks. Calling the truth propaganda is pretty much all we can expect from “Republicans” these days. Romney then makes a statement that causes me to shit on myself.

Are you fucking kidding me? You want to be our president, you hideous, retarded fuck? You have just made a statement about an assassination, as if it was fact, for which there is no proof. No evidence exists to back up this claim. None. You are a liar and a deviant and very, very dangerous. Also, you are retarded.

Then Fred Thompson jumps back in with some really important questions:

Jesus. Fucking. Christ. WE DO HAVE AIR BASES. Here is a grown man, running for president of the United States, mocking the truth. MOCKING. The US bases in Saudi Arabia have been the number one recruiting tool for al Qaeda, or at least they were until the war in Iraq. Maybe dipshit should have learned that when he was getting all that “experience” as a member of the Senate Intelligence Committee. It’s okay to read, even if you are an actor.

Are we done yet? Sadly, no. Huckabee then breaks down the problem in a way his Christian minions will understand: Islamofascism. Which, is, uh, something that does not exist. It is not real. There are no Islamofascists. There are radical Muslims and there are fascists, but there is no such thing as an Islamofascist. Huckabee is a retarded moron.

Well, thanks for that, Innocent the Third. You don’t mind if I call you a fucking tool, right? This is an embarrassing position for any man running for president of the United States to take. It is so completely void of thought and reason that it is shocking.

Last week’s debate was disturbing to watch. It is amazing to witness five men speaking to one man like he is a fool, when he is actually correct. And I don’t for a minute believe that any of these clowns actually believe they are speaking the truth. They cannot. Because any man who has achieved the amount of power they have is not a moron. They are only taking this position because they have polled the base and they are catering to their ignorant beliefs, instead of explaining the truth. That is the opposite of a leader. These men are cowards.

Enjoy their brains.



We should greatly fear the day one of these assholes takes over the White House.

I feel sorry that Americans have to chose between these tools. Romeny is a fucktard, Guiliani is an asshole who is basing his political career on the corpses of Americans and Huckabee is a religious nut. They are just spewing the same bullshit. Ron Paul is right about America's foreign policy. The others are just chest pumping never criticize America neanderthals.

Keep selling fear, let the voters buy into it. That's all they have to do. And when they get elected, they'll give government kickbacks, tax exemptions and other shady deals with contractors and other companies to "keep us safe." They'll post record profits, massive gains, and our poor, overworked, stressed-out president will mysteriously make a fortune, along with all the cronies in Congress that backed him.

I had a guy tell me today he was ready for a female president, so he's voting for Hillary. I'm practicing my German again in case she or any of the neo-cons win. Maybe a change of scenery for Jas in 2009!

So . . . what does it take to get Swiss citizenship?

Seriously, this shit is scary. And what is scarier is that I hear people around here mouthing the same bullshit as the canidates. Granted, I'm in the dead center of Nebraska, where Rush Limbaugh can be heard from peoples' radios when I walk down the street and the average reading level hovers somewhere around 5th grade. But to think that our foreign policy has nothing to do with the growth of al Qaeda is simply idiotic. We've been sticking our noses into the area since at least WWII, if not earlier. The West as a whole has been fucking up the area for well over 2000 years (Macedonia, Rome, etc). There is a very good chance that these people are sick of being fucked over, thought of as primative, and being told they don't know how to run their own religion, government, or lives. Yes, they haven't developed as quickly as Europe. But it is kind of hard to develop while being beaten, raped, and stolen from every generation or so.

Thank you FTR.

i can't believe i'm saying this, but i agree with ron paul.

fuuuuuuck

Uhh, sorry to have to break the news to you, but the second half of your sentence stands as naked truth, regardless of whether any of these guys gets to be President or it's Hillary or Obama or whoever else is in the running at this point.

The good news is that once the United States has been reduced from global superpower status to the level of a a third world nation, the rest of the planet can heave a great big sigh of relief.

Everytime I read something like this, I picture myself wearing leather pants and carrying a shotgun, and it makes me very sad. I look terrible in leather pants.

Ron Paul finally said something that made logical sense and he got lambasted for it. This is almost as bad as people laughing at Kucinich for saying he saw an unidentified flying object.

I thought the same thing

If Obama gets elected and trys to rock the boat he will end up like the kennedys.



I support ron paul but he dosnt have a chance , maybe as a spoiler but i dont think thats his style.

Don't panic. Just remember the old saying (and yes, I used it on another thread): Even a broken clock is right twice per day.

Likewise.

Yeah, the rationality of Ron Paul's foreign policy stance gets an enormous boost when it's presented in soundbite form in the midst of the warmongering yokelism that is a GOP debate.

Also, there's no way on Earth that the United States wouldn't have set up military bases in Saudi Arabia after Iraq invaded Kuwait.

Why?

Because the Saudi monarchy asked us to. And when I say "asked" I mean "used their massive economic leverage to call in a big favor from their pal George H.W. Bush because they were scared shitless of Iraq's much larger army pouring across the border".

No thanks, I'll take your word for it, I just ate something and don't feel like getting sick right now.

-If you're against Ron Paul: you hate freedom and liberty (according to certain Paul supporters)
-If you're with Ron Paul: you hate freedom and liberty (according to the other Republican nominees)

Compute?

An easy solution presents itself: Republicans of any stripe hate freedom and liberty.

"Freedom" and "Liberty" are just buzzwords for political campaigns. People that tell you about freedom and liberty are more often than not slaves to their own expectations, jobs, spouses, religions, parents, children, political ideologues, et cetera.

now, see, that makes perfect sense. thanks for clearing it all up.

I rarely find myself saying this, but both sides have some truth to them. I agree with the fact that we're being singled out by Islamic terrorists for our foreign policy. We have a pretty good idea of the way the recruitment speech goes (they aren't very shy, those terrorists), and that's one of the big selling points.

However, I wouldn't want anyone to forget that religious fundamentalism is a huge part of the problem. I don't want to pull some bullshit figure out of my ass like "50%," but I'd say it's more than just a contributing factor. These people really do believe that they have a moral imperative from the creator of the universe to unite all humans under a Muslim caliphate. They really do believe that if they martyr themselves then they will get to bang 72 ever-virgins for eternity. They believe that Allah gave them that land, and they have to protect it from "infidels" at all costs.

They will not compromise on those beliefs because religious fundamentalists just don't do compromise. Their beliefs aren't based on reason, so reasoning between them is impossible. What's left, most of the time, is violence.

yup.


That's all I got.

I don't see how those situations compare at all. A presidential candidate talking seriously about UFOs is pretty damn funny. A presidential candidate pointing out the obvious and getting yelled at as wrong is something entirely different.