Agent: Carson, you've been stalled in Late, Late, Late night for years now. We thought you were being groomed to take over for Conan, but the offered that job to Jimmy Falon. I know, he sucks, but that is weird coming from you. Seriously. The only chance you will ever have in this business is to take advantage of this strike. I mean, Jesus, you're fucking talentless. You are a walking Hollywood corpse and the powers that be have thrown you a lifeline.
Carson: Thanks, I appreciate that.
Agent: You get back to work and the network will never forget it. Never. They will take care of you!
Carson: What about the writers?
Agent: Fuck them. They'll come crawling back when you take over Conan's spot.
Carson: It sounds perfect.
Cut to:
Graphic: 2010.
Assistant: I have Carson Daly on the phone.
Agent: Carson, listen, the network passed on Conan's spot. Yeah, I know, but they're going with Dane Cook. They said good writers won't work with you. And people lost respect for you, not that there was any in the first place. Also, you're sort of lacking any kind of human spark. Anyway, tough break. You shouldn't have crossed the picket line. I said it wasn't a good idea, remember? Oh, and I gotta cut you loose. We had a good run. Take care.
FearTheReaper
NEWSWIRE
I'm lost
NOV 27, 2007 10:21 PM