IPOD
RADIO
TOPICS:
OCT 31, 2007 02:12 AM
Cerwen said:
Ferretbite said:
emotedcreations said:
Whatever happened to the samurai?
They were all murdered in one big battle. Only Tom Cruise survived.
*snickers*
Also, every one in Japan knows marital arts, so it'd just be a draw, and it'd go on forever, unless you or your attacker happens to be Chuck Norris, in which case, Chuck Norris automatically wins all, and a piece of candy. But I hear Chuck doesn't hang out in Japan too much any more...
*SIGH* I'm so tired of hearing about the bearded one. It's times like these that I wish Bruce Lee were still around. Everyone knows that Kung Fu kicks Karate's ass in the end...
Insert canny dialogue for any Kung Fu vs Karate movie ever made:
Two men almost collide when they turn a corner, skirmish ensues:
Antagonist (Karate, of course): Hey you! Get out of the way dirt farmer, I'm walking here!
[Stare down ensues, insert sound of tuned sticks striking each other]
Antagonist: I said move it! Or am I going to have to teach you a lesson, no one stands in my way!
Protagonist (Kung Fu, naturally): Ah, you shouldn't waste your time... It's you who needs a lesson, but I don't think you can handle it...
Antagonist: Oh yeah!?! Well your Kung Fu is weak! Ha! Karate is... SUPERIOR!!! Come and get your beating now and maybe I'll be merciful.
Protagonist:: Ok. But I'm just warning you, I've been trained by Sifu Ping in the school of Huo Wu Dao Hóu (Fire Dancing Monkey, sort of).
Antagonist: Enough talk! Kee-ya!
Protagonist: Woo. Wha, wa-tah!
[insert sounds of wet turkeys getting slapped and punched mixed in with a flag being twirled]
Antagonist: Ah! It's impossible... You. [Cough] Beat. Me.
Protagonist: Heh! Wait till the guys back home hear how a Chinese dirt farmer beat a red neck Ranger!
Pretty good, eh?
OCT 31, 2007 11:08 AM
emotedcreations said:
Whatever happened to the samurai?
And Ninjas weren't defensive, they were offensive, they were fucking spies for Christ's sake. Granted they weren't a charging cavalry, but I'm not really sure how a spy could be construed as defensive.
Why does this remind me of an American model who most likely doesn't know the third US President? Or even the first? Or who the President was during WWII?
Let's forget everything I just said, let's just imagine, not only is it possible, but it's practical to run around a corner and hide (I can't even type that with a straight face). The shoes! The shoes! You have to make your camo more effective.
...
Why did I think this was going to be another article about the Transformer movies?
...
And more poignantly, whatever fucking happened to Japanese martial arts? I mean seriously. They have to have more martial art dojos per capita and this is their (one seriously misguided woman's response) to crime. I'm hoping this is as big of a joke in Japan as it is here (or to me more specifically).
The insinuation that the Japanese would fall for this because they are not as used to crime as Americans is a fucking insult to the Japanese. How fucking stupid do you have to be to think that what she created is an actual vending machine?
This post is going nowhere.... [over and out]
You clearly don't understand that this is supposed to be a Japanese insult to Americans, because we are all somehow lumbering rabid criminal barbarians that shoot at random people and taker their wallets. 
OCT 31, 2007 07:57 PM
Cerwen said:
Ferretbite said:
emotedcreations said:
Whatever happened to the samurai?
They were all murdered in one big battle. Only Tom Cruise survived.
*snickers*
Also, every one in Japan knows marital arts, so it'd just be a draw, and it'd go on forever, unless you or your attacker happens to be Chuck Norris, in which case, Chuck Norris automatically wins all, and a piece of candy. But I hear Chuck doesn't hang out in Japan too much any more...
Christ jesus on a fucking crutch, stop the Chuck Norris jokes. They're not funny anymore.
loading your activity feed...
jason
USA
August 2002
OCT 30, 2007 11:24 PM