NEWS: Michael Bay’s Greatest Commercial Ever Opens

Who gives a fuck enjoy the movie if your that mindless after you see the movie and run out and but a dodgethen thats what you get.

Yeah I was getting a little tired of this man slamming American companies. I was raised on the american automobile. My father works for Ford, his plant is closing next year. My stepfather works for General Motors and has to deal with work cutbacks and possible layoffs. Sure Toyota has plants in the united states and provides jobs for american workersm but where to you think the profit goes? back to japan. Go hug a tree and bitch about something else.

Well, the film really gave me the urge to go home and use Ebay....

My first car was a Datsun. Does that make me gay? If it does, I'm going to go out and have some fun tonight.

Ah...that's Star Trek jargon. In the 1980s the Transformers were fueled by something called "energon."

Well, actually, my biggest problem with the film was its almost complete lack of character or story development. Where's the history? We get it in about a 5-minute recap from Optimus Prime. The other problem I have with "Transformers" is that the story is hardly even about the Transformers. The main storyline, really, is the teenage romance, followed by the Air Force team that escapes the initial Decepticon attack, followed by the young computer programmer working for the government. The Transformers, themselves, are more or less props.

I think that the 1986 film is still better than Bay's.

Watching Optimus Prime die in the 86 film did a lot to take away my childhood innocence. At least until he was brought back to life, anyway.

For my part, I usually refer to the movie as "charmingly retarded".

The biggest problem with the movie was the director. Michael Bay has a pathological need to turn every movie he has his hands on into a budding romance beset by bejesus-class explosions (nice alliteration there), no matter how out of place, and to turn every character into a stereotype, which I think masks his complete inability to get a clear plot thread in his movies going--the fact that these are stereotypes is supposed to fill in whatever the erratic pacing and editing leave out. He also seems to pick his action scenes less on their coherance than on how much memory they chew up on the supercomputer to generate. Finally, I would also say that I'm not a little off-put by his pseudo-feminism that he uses to pass off putting eye candy in his movie. The fact that the stone-cold fox can hack a computer (and we'll leave the misuse of the term hacker for another day) or jimmy the infamous two wires to start a car is in this case completely tertiary to why they are there: because they are stone-cold foxes. This contrasts with far more feminist characters in other action films like Zoe in Deathproof and Ripley in Aliens, who are sexy because they are so immensely capable.

For all that though, I found the autobots somewhat inspirational, in a sort of dumbed-down Kantian sort of way. They have very strong (if somewhat fuzzy) senses of morality, but they also question the worthiness of humanity to enjoy the costs they pay. I also think Shia is charismatic and capable of heading a far more quality movie than this one based on what I've seen. The scene with his parents (if again touching off my feminist-movie sensibilities when they start high-fiving Sam for having Michaela in his room; somehow, just somehow I got the impression that the reverse would not have yielded the same parental enthusiasm) is also fairly well-done and brilliant by Michael Bay standards. The big thing, however, is that I saw an inkling of why the friend who dragged me to this loved the Transformers as a child, especially in Optimus Prime's stubborn nobility.

Now if only they could have fixed the scene at the end where Sam and Michaela are making out on Bumblebee's hood. I was not the only one in the audience to say an audible "Eww!"

Yes. Not only are they making out on Bumblebee's hood, but Ratchet and Ironhide are watching. I'm sure that Ratchet's interest is purely scientific.

Honestly, it never pays to believe a prominent character's death, as it's usually faked or "premature".

Am I the only one whose problem with the movie is that I think the robots look like shit?

Transformers used to look like car-men. Now they look like Terminators.

Sorry D&D correction....

Vorpal only works if the said "Querent" dies when it head is severed........

Maybe you mean the "DFMD" ... "Death from Massive Damage" clause.......

In that case yes the Hummer qualifies


BTW who the f*ck would want to see a "Mercury Topaz" turn into a badass Decepticon

Better yet, an AMC Gremlin.

I'd gotten the impression from this article that the Transformers themselves were pretty much all General Motors vehicles. And I don't know, maybe some of them were, it wasn't obvious to me as a non-car person. Fucking every other car in the entire movie had a big GMC logo on the grill, though.

*chuckle*

Er, I kinda thought the objection was to the practices of American automakers. You know the same ones putting your family out of work.

OMFG!!!!1!!11!! Those sneaky japs.... doing the exact same thing american companies do....but better! How dare they!?!

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