Remember the movie, Independence Day? Aliens attacked the Earth but were eventually killed by Randy Quaid. (Which is pretty much how it would really happen.) During the film, the President learns that years ago an alien spacecraft had crashed and the UFO was still in the militarys possession. Well, it looks like Independence Day was based on fact. This, of course means that Wednesday we are going to be attacked by aliens.

Anyway, lets recap some history. Sixty years ago in Roswell, New Mexico a UFO was reported to have crashed on a ranch. Headlines around the country reported that a Flying Saucer Was Captured. The military even issued a press release claiming they had possession of a disc. But the next day the military changed the story and said it was a weather balloon. Its a pretty easy mistake to make.

But UFO enthusiasts just could not let it go. They had eyewitness descriptions of strange metal from the craft that was unlike anything else on Earth. They wouldn't let it go. Eventually, they became known as fun, harmless nutjobs who enjoyed conspiracy theories. They even got their own TV show, The X-Files. Roswell became the UFO capitol of the world.

But now, new information has come to light that UFO enthusiasts say proves their claims. The public relations officer who worked at the military base where the UFO was brought has died, but not before he left a sworn affidavit of the incident.

Lieutenant Walter Haut is the man responsible for issuing the original UFO and the second weather balloon press releases. According the affidavit, the first UFO press release was the truth.

Haut's affidavit talks about a high-level meeting he attended

at this meeting, pieces of wreckage were handed around for participants to touch, with nobody able to identify the material.

He says the press release was issued because locals were already aware of the crash site, but in fact there had been a second crash site, where more debris from the craft had fallen.

The plan was that an announcement acknowledging the first site, which had been discovered by a farmer, would divert attention from the second and more important location.

Wow. UFO freaks are probably losing their minds right now, running around trying to find the 2nd site," desperately trying to prove to their Mothers that their life was somehow meaningful.

Haut then tells how Colonel Blanchard took him to "Building 84" - one of the hangars at Roswell - and showed him the craft itself.

He describes a metallic egg-shaped object around 3.6m-4.5m in length and around 1.8m wide. He said he saw no windows, wings, tail, landing gear or any other feature.

He saw two bodies on the floor, partially covered by a tarpaulin. They are described in his statement as about 1.2m tall, with disproportionately large heads.

Until his death, Haut always stuck to the military cover story. But now hes dead, so he is not worried about the Cigarette Man killing him. Either way, its just more information for UFO enthusiasts to go crazy over. Not that they needed it. In all probability a guy with a great sense of humor just pulled a fantastic joke on a bunch of people who were driving him crazy his entire life.

In the end, until we actually see a body or a piece of the wreckage, it is pretty meaningless. What we really need to be focused on today are witches attacking us from Mexico. Yes, I said witches.

theworldisfine

United Kingdom

June 2007

JUL 01, 2007 09:12 AM

Hot. My years 8 through fourteen weren't for nothing then.
Nanoo nanoo.

HoneyBadger

USA

July 2006

JUL 01, 2007 09:18 AM

Oh great, on top or worrying about immigrants with leprosy now we have to worry about witches

zarth

Seattle, WA

December 2004

JUL 01, 2007 09:19 AM

That "astronomer" was so obviously the witch!

Dovanna

Minneapolis, MN

March 2007

JUL 01, 2007 09:24 AM

With as advanced as digital technology is these days, someone could create a "real and believable" video of a flying donkey with dragon wings.

It just amazes me that some people will jump to the most far-out conclusion first, and then journalists will pick it up!