NEWS: Newt Gingrich is Still an Asshole

See!? That's what I was envisioning! And then it HAPPENED! Outstanding.

I feel like I should get a black belt in SG or something. I think I've mastered the art.

I think what you've mastered is The Secret, actually. What was that Law of Attraction bit? If you think hard enough about the things you want, they will come to you, or some shit? You've got it!

I'm visualizing someone else not reading any of the thread up to this point and calling Newt Gingrich an awesome presidential candidate and a genius within the next two pages.

Not to beat a dead horse, but your English sucks.

Your spelling is shit and your punctuation makes my skin crawl.
I have just one more tip to share with you . . .

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Be the ball Danny, BE the ball.

Here's the thing.

Even ignoring the fact that Newt doesn't follow his own rules (his own fucking webpage is available En Espanol, too!), and even ignoring whether there's a good reason to force people to learn one of the shittiest languages ever, this is still a bad idea.

A goodly chunk of native-born Americans, who know English as their first language, aren't fluent in it. How the fuck can we demand it of immigrants -- especially given that, since this law would only affect legal immigrants, those are people who have legitimate reasons to be here already?

Really? That's a shame; I hear the German language rivals Les Claypool on the bass.

Good Christ! Move with me to Vermont, so we can get married.

That was beautiful, man.

I always thought Kira was pretty racy, actually.

Newt would not approve.

My favourite was the one where he misspelled "racist" three different ways in two sentences. Or was "CATTER" the more amusing one? Tough call.

To be fair, though, his postion isn't inherently racist, even if a near-majority of the people who hold it are. Many city-dwellers find it frustrating having to deal, often, with waiters or cab-drivers who can't communicate with you well enough to take your order or understand where you want to go. I agree that ballots should be as multilingual as possible, but everyone should know enough English to be able to understand "No Parking after 7pm except on Sundays" or "Danger! Do not smoke near this tank" .

I don't think anybody owes you the type of service you expect. What if they choose to cater to an expat community?

There used to be a bartender in San Francisco who was known for being brusque and rude, and he would only make martinis. If you ordered a beer he'd rip you a new asshole. In English. And you, as a potential customer, had the choice of whether you would go there and put up with him or not. People who "got" him found him endearing.

There's an Indian restaurant a couple blocks from me. It's owned by Punjabi people--and I come from a Punjabi background. I find it insulting that they refuse to engage with me in our common language and remain aloof (maybe they're just shy--who knows), so I don't go there...except when I'm really hungry for Punjabi food and don't feel like cooking.

As for the cabbies, yeah, that could be frustrating, but I've taken cabs in parts of the world where I'm not fluent in the local language and I still manage to get where I need to go. Everybody understands simple pointing hand gestures.

And if somebody else has to deal with the consequences of their not understanding warning signs, I don't see what that has to do with you.

Most of my aunts and uncles are not fluent in English. They've been in the US for over 20 years. They're all citizens. They worked in factories until they saved up enough money to buy small businesses. They might get drunk and rowdy sometimes, but for the most part they're law-abiding citizens. This country is a better place because of them. Would it be even better if they were NOT here? That seems to be the implication from the English-Only side.

Not quite. You on the other hand...

What would happnen if they did cut back the funding?