Micheal Jackson Can Sleep With Kids, But Men Can't Sit Next to Them on a Plane?

British Airways recently enforced a policy regarding children seated next to men on flights.

Several other similar stories are shared in the original article, but they do raise a few valid points. Are we teaching children to fear men? I know that as a child growing up, I was told not to speak to strangers, but when other advice came out regarding my safety, it was usually phrased with a man being the 'bad person.'

It is a situation that really has me scratching my head. I approve of new methods of keeping children safe, but it seems unfair to profile every strange man as a potential child molester. Statistically speaking, it is more likely for a child to be molested by someone that they know, with only 26% attributed to a stranger.

While sexual abuse of children is nothing to be taken lightly, is there a subtle type of hysteria going on regarding the way men interact with children? Some would think so, and this tragic accident may highlight the way men believe society views them.

My husband and I have both noticed that if he pays any child attention anywhere, he often gets strange looks from the parents. Something as simple as smiling and waving back at a kid at the grocery store can earn him nothing more than a glare from the mother a large part of the time, but it is perfectly acceptable if I do the same.

I guess maybe I've been up too late, thinking too much, but I was just curious about other people's opinions on this, perhaps especially men's. Do you tone down your interactions with children out of fear that you could be mistaken for a pedophile?

"My husband and I have both noticed that if he pays any child attention anywhere, he often gets strange looks from the parents. Something as simple as smiling and waving back at a kid at the grocery store can earn him nothing more than a glare from the mother a large part of the time, but it is perfectly acceptable if I do the same." - DancehallDreamer

I have gotten this sort of reaction too. It really offends me because I don't look or act particularly creepy. I also don't really like children, so any time I smile or wave back at a kid, I think of it as going out of my way.

In a Wal mart I worked at a few years ago, a little 4 yrold (im guessing) girl fell down in front of me. I smiled and tried to help her up, but she screamed and cried. Now i wonder, was it how she was raised, or my beautiful mug that scarred her for life.

I mean.. WHO would cry at this marvelous face?

I work with kids, many who have been abused and molested, and I am very aware of the growing social stigmas attached to interacting with a strange child. That doesn't stop me from smiling or saying hi to a kid in a public place who waves or is being funny. I'm just prepared to deal with a parent who may give me a dirty look or shoo their kid away from me.

Nice post Dancehall.

I believe every child needs a role model, in fact the more direct attention a child gets from someone they can look up to the better. I think that children should be able to trust adults, but I understand mothers wanting to be overprotective of their children. In order for this to take place adults need to be trustworthy... which I believe most people are. I don't think that there is such a strong implication by the airline not wanting children and men in adjacent seats, but I don't think it should be awkward for the male passenger but you would think that they could arrange that before people got on the plane.

An airplane's a mighty public place for a pedophile to pull that shit... It's a tube up in the middle of the sky, and the Attendants are trained to keep an eye out for people who take too long in the bathroom- the only private space on the plane.

Besides, don't strangers account for a small percentage of reported attacks anyway?

There does seem to be the common idea that men and small children don't mix. Thinking back to my first school there was one male member of staff. He was the caretaker, the one person the children wouldn't ever have to speak to. So I guess that sort of thing helps to set the patterns for how we treat the genders.

There's an amusing experiment where women in a waiting room are left with a baby they don't know. If the baby is dressed in pink it gets cuddled and subjected to hushed baby talk, if the same baby is dressed in blue it tends to get bounced on the knee and is introduced to the plastic hammer toy.

Oh. WHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!!

*eek*

Well, I am a child magnet for some reason, from infant to age 4-5 and especially if I am in uniform. I guess it is the high contrast colors that get their attention. The red hair, lighter skin and dark eyes for my face and if in uniform the black fabric and gold trim gets them going. While I don't hate children I don't go all ga-ga about them either. I will be polite and wave/make a face back at them and if in uniform the parents are usually polite and will talk to me and (arggg..) introduce the rug rat and now I have to spend a few more minutes entertaining them. If not in uniform it depends on the distance from me to the child to the parent. If close like in a check out line all is good, smiles all around, if over about 10 feet distance the adult gets the concerned look and will call the kid back closer to them. Doesn't offend me and I understand the protection instict of the parent.

Well duh, men on planes touch them in their "no-no" spots.

Oh flight attendant! I'd like a Snapple, and please bring my little friend here some Jesus Juice.

eh, lame. but makes sense too. 80% of reported child molesters are male.

well, yeah, but sitting the kid next to a female reduces the very slim chance.

I'd like to see how many cases of child abuse by a stranger on an airplane British Airways investigated before they instituted this policy, my guess is zero.

i'm sure it's happened. and the molesters were probably male. like i said, it's a slim chance but even slimmer if it's a female next to the kid.

here's one
girl maybe molested blah blah blah


anyway, child molesters are fucking creepy. i was on a jury for a child porn picture ring thing and the molester guys were such creeps. and they would look for targets on playgrounds and at public pools and shit. it's rare but it happens.

I'm having a hard time pinning down an official site that breaks down abuse of children, but from several sites, I get about the same stats, that only around 10% of children are abused by people they don't know.

From another study, only 10% of molesters abuse children that are 'strangers' to them. (That is a very good link that breaks down the profile of child molesters, by race, marital status, education background, etc.)


(my link the OP was wrong, I was looking at the wrong pie chart)

better safe than sorry!

I imagine a lot of this is about ass covering. If something happened then the parents would be able to point to the fact that other airlines had policies in place which might have made a difference. If they ended up with a "better safe than sorry" jury they'd be screwed.

There's even the possibility of fraudulent claims that something happened. Teams of people make good livings getting money from insurance companies.

I can't fucking believe logic like this. It is ideologically no different than saying "X% of thefts are committed by black people, therefore, we should not allow black people in stores."

My penis does not make me a child molester. Being muslim does not make one a terrorist. Letting an airliner fly does not mean it will crash into the World Trade Center. We cannot protect people from all possibilities of harm and injustice. To try to do so is agoraphobic nonsense and an excuse to give up basic liberties for security.

The better safe than sorry attitude should really mean that we shouldn't allow fathers, brothers, uncles, friends, teachers, or counselors near our children, because they are more likely to molest them than the guy in line behind you at the movies.

I know a lot of men that hate kids and would appreciate that.

Sexism sure is a fickle thing. Why don't we instead take our heads out of our asses and see the men of the world for what they are and not what media portrays men as; men aren't vigilante fuckhole-seekers hellbent on screwing everything that breathes (or not).

It makes no sense whatsoever. The fact that most perpetrators are men does not mean that most men are perpetrators. This rule implies otherwise. It is insulting to men at best, harmful to children at worst.

100% of the child molestors in the world were borne by women. If we are going to start twisting statistics let's do this one: women are the cause of child molestation.