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FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

MAY 16, 2007 12:24 PM





I really, really did not think ABC would do it. The network has decided to air the sitcom "Cavemen" opposite American Idol on Tuesdays. Just think of all the funny jokes TV reporters can make about how "Cavemen can't even catch a break in scheduling!" Ha ha. I assumed the show would not make it past the pilot stage. But, once again, network executives have been able to go below my lowest expectations.



Please shoot me in the face. It seems like an extreme reaction, but I just watched two minutes of this heaping pile of shit on the Interweb.



Wow. Just fucking wow. It is so horrible I can barely wrap my brain around it. When I first heard that ABC was contemplating a sitcom about the amusing Geico commercial cavemen I assumed it would be about their personal lives. Really bad, but not the worst sitcom ever made. But ABC has decided to make the show about race. Fucking amazing. This could be the worst sitcom of all time.



Throughout all of my painful years in show business I have always heard the same thing from the networks, "We want the next All in the Family." But it always ends the same: The networks are too scared to tackle any real subject and possibly offend anyone, so they back off or water the show down until it is not funny. But with Cavemen, the network found the perfect combo - because they are Cavemen. Get it? They are sort of like black people.

"Cavemen," based on the popular Geico ads, attempts to turn race relations on their head by focusing on a new "minority," said Stephen McPherson, president of ABC Entertainment,



ABC hopes the much talked about "Cavemen" series can break the comedy doldrums. "It will have the ability to offend everyone," said McPherson. "But offend no one."



Actually, you have offended everyone with a brain in their head, you stupid fucking cunt. Television executives should be rounded up and murdered, very slowly, for being the dumbest fuckers on the face of the Earth.

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

MAY 16, 2007 02:04 PM

i'm just hoping for a caveman-grey's anatomy crossover.

Sunshine

Sunshine

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

MAY 16, 2007 02:05 PM

i don't know...i do like those commercials wink

JeffX

JeffX

Ames, IA
June 2006

MAY 16, 2007 02:07 PM

I hate those commercials. They were funny for about five minutes then they got old real quick.

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

MAY 16, 2007 02:07 PM

yeah i honestly don't think this is worse than most everything else on tv.
it's probably going to be retarded, but i'm much more likely to watch caveman over american idol.

bumbling cavemen win over karaoke every time.

big_trouble

big_trouble

Ann Arbor, MI
OLD SKOOL

MAY 16, 2007 02:11 PM

I'd watch a show featuring the Gecko before the Cavemen. Have we reached the creative point where our ideas for network shows have to come from commercials?

windermere

windermere

Riverside, CA
October 2005

MAY 16, 2007 02:12 PM

Next thing you know, they'll bring back "The Mullets" tongue

Fractal

Fractal

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

MAY 16, 2007 02:18 PM

yourfashionwar said:
yeah i honestly don't think this is worse than most everything else on tv.
it's probably going to be retarded, but i'm much more likely to watch caveman over american idol.

bumbling cavemen win over karaoke every time.



Ohhh...Obviously, you have never watched the Idol auditions. Its weeks of people's dreams being destroyed, and is quality entertainment.

JohnnyPA

JohnnyPA

Ambler, PA
February 2007

MAY 16, 2007 02:21 PM

They should at least have the same actors from the comercials...

Odette

Odette

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

MAY 16, 2007 02:22 PM


you stupid fucking cunt



is it really necessary to use slang for female anatomy to insult somebody?

here, of all places?

puke

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

MAY 16, 2007 02:22 PM

Fractal said:

yourfashionwar said:
yeah i honestly don't think this is worse than most everything else on tv.
it's probably going to be retarded, but i'm much more likely to watch caveman over american idol.

bumbling cavemen win over karaoke every time.



Ohhh...Obviously, you have never watched the Idol auditions. Its weeks of people's dreams being destroyed, and is quality entertainment.



that's right, i forgot about the auditions. those are indeed entertaining for the freakshows, but after they're over, watching american idol is like being stuck at the brass monkey with no liquor and better lighting.

AndersWolleck

AndersWolleck

Astoria, NY
February 2003

MAY 16, 2007 02:23 PM

i love the commercials, very hard to create a world in a ffew minutes

the clip was kind of funny, i didnt laugh thoguh

Sexdwarf

Sexdwarf

Hermosa Beach, CA
February 2003

MAY 16, 2007 02:24 PM

This will bomb, but I think it could've been well done; it obviously hasn't though.

dingoes8

dingoes8

Milwaukee, WI
March 2004

MAY 16, 2007 02:24 PM

I hope this guy gets a show next.

Xtine

Xtine

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

MAY 16, 2007 02:29 PM

dingoes8 said:
I hope this guy gets a show next.



We could only WISH to be that lucky.

krystaldragon

krystaldragon

Wilmington, NC
May 2007

MAY 16, 2007 02:34 PM



yourfashionwar said:
yeah i honestly don't think this is worse than most everything else on tv.
it's probably going to be retarded, but i'm much more likely to watch caveman over american idol.

bumbling cavemen win over karaoke every time.



Ohhh...Obviously, you have never watched the Idol auditions. Its weeks of people's dreams being destroyed, and is quality entertainment.



The only problem with watching the auditions, is you have to listen to people that, if they really have people telling them they are wonderful singers, need to find a new friend base because someone is lying to them and in a HUGE way.

My poor ears just can't handle the off tune warblings of Aretha Franklin wannabes that couldn't carry a tune if it were SUPER-GLUED to them.

Saraah

Saraah

Los Angeles, CA
March 2007

MAY 16, 2007 02:37 PM

Odette said:

you stupid fucking cunt



is it really necessary to use slang for female anatomy to insult somebody?

puke



Dick, asshole, prick...I don't know. Using anatomical terms to insult people is pretty common, gender-aside.

whatever



FearTheReaper said
Actually, you have offended everyone with a brain in their head, you stupid fucking cunt. Television executives should be rounded up and murdered, very slowly, for being the dumbest fuckers on the face of the Earth.



Amen, FTR, you beautiful asshole (gender-neutral!).

AndersWolleck

AndersWolleck

Astoria, NY
February 2003

MAY 16, 2007 02:39 PM

rodan

rodan

Baltimore, MD
February 2005

MAY 16, 2007 02:42 PM

Odette said:

you stupid fucking cunt



is it really necessary to use slang for female anatomy to insult somebody?

here, of all places?

puke



pretty sure FTR was just demonstrating how even he can do stupid things to insult everybody, thereby trying to make the programming department heads feel better about themselves.

or not...

Sticks

Sticks

United Kingdom
March 2005

MAY 16, 2007 02:44 PM

I can only hope the Burger King king guest stars and this act causes the show to get sucked in to some kind of black hole of awfulness.

Trahern

Trahern

United Kingdom
March 2003

MAY 16, 2007 02:46 PM

People really should just stop watching television. It's the only way the industry will get a clue, and it's better for your mental health.

I used to say television is just a way to preview what you might get on dvd... but we have the internet for that.

coleen

coleen

Austin, TX
January 2007

MAY 16, 2007 02:56 PM

They should just stick to the commercials, seriously.

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

MAY 16, 2007 02:59 PM

krystaldragon said:


yourfashionwar said:
yeah i honestly don't think this is worse than most everything else on tv.
it's probably going to be retarded, but i'm much more likely to watch caveman over american idol.

bumbling cavemen win over karaoke every time.



Ohhh...Obviously, you have never watched the Idol auditions. Its weeks of people's dreams being destroyed, and is quality entertainment.



The only problem with watching the auditions, is you have to listen to people that, if they really have people telling them they are wonderful singers, need to find a new friend base because someone is lying to them and in a HUGE way.

My poor ears just can't handle the off tune warblings of Aretha Franklin wannabes that couldn't carry a tune if it were SUPER-GLUED to them.



amen to that. the ratio of hilarious to good to just plain awful and not funny isn't nearly weighted heavily enough in favor of hilarious.

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

MAY 16, 2007 02:59 PM

Odette said:

you stupid fucking cunt



is it really necessary to use slang for female anatomy to insult somebody?

here, of all places?

puke



+1

curtisology

curtisology

USA
April 2006

MAY 16, 2007 02:59 PM

wow...yet another reason to fucking kill your t.v.
cavemen? who does this literal low-brow skit appeal to?

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