NEWS: Palin: A Perfect Train Wreck

POLITICS: Palin: A Perfect Train Wreck

I have to say it is pure joy to watch Sarah Palin’s political career peak and turn to dust in a matter of weeks. It’s actually hard to believe just 27 days ago Sarah Palin stepped on stage at the Republican National Convention and tickled the GOP’s balls. Holy shit, were they excited. It was almost like Jesus had come back in hot housewife form. And to be honest, they should have been excited because they finally had someone on their ticket who was alive.



But those days are over. Sarah Palin was awesome when nobody knew anything about her, but now she is a horrifying prospect. The blame obviously lays at John McCain’s feet for not vetting her and allowing the Christian Right to force a pathetic VP on him. The lack of vetting led to a couple of amazing weeks of information.



First we learned she kills moose. That is, of course, awesome and would be really important if we were some sort of Donner Party stuck in the Alaskan wilderness. Unfortunately, we are a country and killing moose is tragically unimportant. We then learned many other things about Sarah.



She lied about saying “no, but no thanks” to Congress about the “Bridge to Nowhere.” She left the tiny city of Wasilla with an insanely large $22 million debt. She was raised in a gay hating, tongue speaking, witch-stopping church. She tried to ban books. She abused her power by firing town employees without reason. She attempted to have her ex-brother-in-law fired from his law enforcement position and then fired the guy who wouldn’t fire him. She is against abortion in cases of rape and incest. She was mayor when the police chief began charging rape victims for their rape kits. She lied about visiting Ireland. She did not own a passport until 2006. She did not leave the country until 2007. She thinks being near Russia makes her important. It's like an idiot buffet.



Then came the interviews. First Charlie Gibson.







It is generally believed reporters should not have to explain basic facts to vice presidential candidates. She came across as someone who did not know what she was talking about. Mostly because she did not know what she was talking about.



The next interview was with Katie Couric.







She’s gonna bring ‘em to ya!







Russia's right next to her state –– a mere 58 miles across a body of water.







It’s got to be all about job creation!



And she’s not even drunk, like George Bush. That’s just how her brain works. Of course, conservatives began to freak out once they really got a good look at how her brain works. David Brooks wrote...

And now they are beginning to push for her to leave the ticket. The Conservative columnist Kathleen Parker didn’t hold back.

The National Review’s Kathryn Jean Lopez doesn’t think it’s such a bad idea.

But it’s not going to happen. McCain has completely blown it. The election will be over Thursday night at 7:30 PST. At this point, both Biden and the moderator will try to catch Palin with a subject she doesn’t know about. Based on what we are seeing, it won’t be hard. The only way to get out of this mess is to replace Palin before Thursday, but that would also destroy McCain’s campaign, for three reasons.

* Destroys base morale.

* No obvious alternative.

* McCain has overplayed the “game-changer” card.

Welcome to the no-win Palin meltdown. Palin was like a Trojan horse with a thermo-nuclear device inside. McCain could have had a slim shot at the White House without her, but with her, he’s fucking toast.



And I'd like to personally thank Republicans for not choosing Romney, because if he had, Democrats would lose this election. With the current economic crisis, Romney would be talking circles around Obama.



FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.

But they are sending her to "Debate Camp"

I hadn't seen the Couric interview; that was priceless.

If you cant dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit!

palins coach !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C0i9SZqMgc

I totally agree with Mallory. She's going to stand at the podium and moments later, we'll see that scene from "Scanners" played out on live TV.

you guys grossly overestimate the intelligence and thoughtfulness of the American voter.

Fuck you, poopy-face dumbhead.

When we help companies raise capital, we often coach the CEO on their presentation. We plow through the PowerPoint slides, challenging the data, pressing for sources, etc. And then we ask a lot of the questions we know VCs or PEGs will ask.

In effect, we recommend investing 8 hours for every hour of the presentation. Granted we are not talking about national policy, but Sarah Palin is being coached for 3 solid days in advance of an hour long debate. I think she will be well-prepared.

I just hope her head implodes like it did with Katie.

Prepared for a debate? Yes. But prepared for a debate against Joe Biden? There aren't a lot of people in this world who can effectively go toe to toe with him.

Besides, the main point of this column isn't to address her debate performance, it's meant to address the faith America has lost in its little upstart. I like the pull quote FTR got regarding Palin being out of her league, but I think this one is my favorite:

Couric looked like it was taking all of her willpower to keep from rolling her eyes.

There is a happy dance going on inside of me at the prospect of what Thursday will bring. I don't think a few intensive days of coaching is going to be enough to save her ass.

I don't want to watch those vids. I never cared for comedies where the protagonist makes a fool of themselves...

She comes across as a 4th grader who has to make a presentation in front of the class and didn't read the book but thinks she can wing it.

The teacher asks her a question, trying to get her to give some legitimate information and she pulls from the question and filibusters trying to make it seem like she just said something worthwhile.

"Aside from EXAMPLE X, what do you have to say about SUBJECT A?"
"Well, I think EXAMPLE X is important and, you know, I don't think we should ignore that. Also, the main character is FACT FROM SYNOPSIS ON BACK OF BOOK, he's SAME FACT RESTATED and SAME FACT RESTATED. I think those things really define who he is as a character, along with things like EXAMPLE X especially when it comes to SUBJECT A."

Gotcha!

She needs a chaperon now.

I hope Biden goes for her Jugular and comes off as a total prick, and then says the words, "If you think I was tough on her what do you think Putin would be like? Or Chavez? Or the leaders of Iran, Syria, or North Korea? I was easy on her compared to them. If she can't handle me, she can't handle the job."

Nate pointed out at fivethirtyeight.com the other day Biden needs to treat this like time of possesion in a football game.

Let her do all the talking, because Biden doesn't really have to prove he knows what he's talking about. The more she talks, the more stupidity will come out of her mouth.

First, I just want to say that, with the current financial crisis, it sure feels like our country is a metaphoric Donner Party.

I used to think that anyone would be smarter, more experienced, more honest, more rational, and more qualified to be in the White House than Dubyah. McCain is, but congrats to the Republican party for finding someone even worse than Bush for his VP!

If McCain gets elected, I might be able to handle it with therapy. But the day he falls and breaks a hip, I'm bailing on this country as fast as I can before I'm forced to go down with the ship.

Oh. My. God.

I am just, . . . with my mouth agape.

She brought her Daddy along to help with her interview this time.

Well, hey, c'mon now, it's not fair to hold her accountable for things she says.

That's just... that's just "gotcha journalism"! You know, like when they show how McCain has completely changed his position on numerous things in the last 8 years, you're not playing fair! You're supposed to accept what he says right now without question, because he's just trying to make you happy. Stop looking for the truth.

I bet Palin used to be one of those people like me, who wrote "DOS" and "WordPerfect" under the Computer Skills section of their job applications when they had no fucking clue about computers and what they were talking about.

watching this whole thing unfold has been like watching a really bad job interview.

Amen. A-fucking-men. I've been saying that as well for weeks now.

Did you guys watch Tina Fey's second Sarah Palin skit?

Here's the best part:



When Tina Fey can take the actual transcript of an interview, change almost NOTHING in it, add some comedic timing and body language, a McDonald's reference, and come away with a really funny skit... there's something wrong.