NEWS: Asshole Fuckface Roundup #44

POLITICS: Asshole Fuckface Roundup #44

Asshole Fuckfacery is very important. It gives us something to look down upon, so that we may feel better about ourselves. There would actually be no point of living without Asshole Fuckfaces crawling about the Earth. Though we may want to kill them or make them suffer, they do serve a purpose, like flies or rats. So, throw on the nearest plastic tarp and prepare yourself for the filthiest human beings of the week.



First up, a right wing Asshole Fuckface. Who would have thought?



Larry Niven is an author, a conservative and horrible human being, which means he has awesome ideas. His latest gem is a fantastic way to bring down hospital costs.

Great idea. You know what's really cheap? An infectious virus spreading through a city because people were too scared to get treatment. It's also inexpensive to pay for someone who didn't get treatment for a simple infection, which allowed it to spread throughout their body and forced them into the local Intensive Care Unit. The ICU is so much cheaper! And on and on.



Any fucking moron who knows how to use Google can learn that immigrants aren't the problem when it comes to hospital costs. But conservative Asshole Fuckfaces like Niven are repelled by knowledge and the truth.



My next Asshole Fuckface makes purses and likes to sue people.



Artist Nadia Plesner began a campaign to raise awareness of the genocide occurring in Darfur last year. She designed and began selling posters and t-shirts of a Darfur victim holding a Louis Vuitton bag. All the profits went directly to charity. Apparently, Louis wasn't pleased.

Yeah, fuck those genocide victims. Make them pay and make anyone who tries to help them suffer.

Fuck off, creep. That's a Louis Vuitton purse.

Well, good move Louis Vuitton. Your Asshole Fuckface reaction has gotten more attention than if you'd just ignored it. Too bad your purses are priced so high it makes them a symbol of everything that is wrong with the world. But, thank God you are doing what you can to stop someone aiding genocide victims. Pat yourself on the back, you awesome company, it's got to feel good.



My next Asshole Fuckface won the greatest prize known to man and then fell as far as one can fall.



In 1993, Anthony Francis Morley won the Mr. Gay UK contest and spent the year opening "gay events and nights." That is obviously a dream gig. To say I'm jealous would be an understatement. But life at the top isn't easy because someday you have to give up your gay crown and move on. Anthony's fall seems to be a massive drop. He went from Mr. Gay UK to cannibal. Beat that Tom Sizemore.



On April 24th, Anthony murdered Damian Oldfield, a man who worked for the Mr. Gay UK competition. But he wasn't finished at killing.

Oh, my. Well, maybe he was really into that guy. It's only a matter of time before the right wing picks up this story and starts telling everyone that all gay men want to eat dudes. Literally, not....never mind.



My next Asshole Fuckface was immediately entered into the Asshole Fuckface Hall of Fame.



Meet Josef Fritzl. He's your typical 73-year-old dude, who locks up his daughter in the basement for 24 years and rapes her over and over and over.

That's some serious, serious, serious Asshole Fuckfacery.



The cops found out about the 24-year imprisonment and incestuous rape when Josef let his daughter, Elizabeth, go to the hospital because one of his daughters/granddaughters was seriously ill. How so very kind. He actually didn't let her die AND he let his daughter/fuck puppet go visit. The 19-year-old daughter/granddaughter is still hospitalized.



Josef impregnated his daughter seven times over her years in captivity. One child died and six lucky ones survived. Three boys and three girls. Three of the kids, ages, 19, 18, and 5, never left the basement. The other three were taken and given up for "adoption" - which in some cases meant they were raised as "foster children" by Josef and his wife. The wife claims she did not know of Elizabeth's imprisonment.



Twenty four years ago, Josef claimed Elizabeth had joined a religious cult. She was considered missing and Interpol opened a file on her disappearance. Too bad they didn't check the cellar.

What a fucking demon.



Finally, a video Asshole Fuckface report from the wild world of animals.







No congratulations are in order this week because of Joe the Austrian.

Ahh, the right wing. Always ready to blame someone without resorting to research or reality. They happily ignore the fact that doctors and hospitals are so expensive because they need to pay for insurance. Ignore the fact that free health care (just a term to cover all the different forms, and no I don't know which one would work best) would be free for them too. Ignore the fact that most illegal immigrants simply pay with cash on their way out. It's gotta be them dirty furriners doin it!

Celebrinews. This is part of the reason why this election has gone on so long. News reporters are more interested in discussing what candidates had to eat or dring (Clinton and her shot of Crown Royale) than things like, oh, I dunno, REAL FUCKING ISSUES!!!

Anybody who spends the amount needed for a Loius Vuitton bag should have that bag inserted into them anally.

Austrian dad should spend the next 24 years bent over a prison bed by his cell mate Big Gunter.

a man eating another man? i thought that was the point of being gay.

Sickening postscript to the Austrian story: for imprisoning his daughter as a sex slave for 24 years, the longest prison term Fritzl can be sentenced to under Austrian law is 15 years.

I read the Austrian story in a local paper this past week. Fucking nightmare. It stated that most of the children didn't even know of the other children's existence, as they were all kept in different parts of his underground incest bunker.

The penguin was totally asking for it.

Fritzl sounds like a Cenobite.

A link to the Asseal Fuckface, if anyone's interested.

-TM

Why can't LV just ask for her receipts and make a charitable tax deduction? Is it really worth all this bullshit? She's not making money off of it. Unless of course, they have a problem with raising awareness for Sudan. Maybe it's the way that she's doing it? I dunno.

As per Larry Niven, I was listening to a radio show and the host asked how it would be possible to get all the illegal immigrants in the same place. He kept having to cut people off and eventually just stopped answering phone calls. There are some real fucking shit bags out there, you should have heard these people.

As far as the rest of them go, there's not a whole lot that needs to be said.

Perhaps I'm not understanding you correctly, but LV isn't interested in making any sort charitable donation, whether it's tax deductible or not.

To you and I, no. To LV, though they may not realize it at the moment, no. The only people who are winning on this are the lawyers on both sides.

I don't think they're really interested in gaining money, so much as punishing her. I doubt LV even knows what's going on in Sudan. They probably misinterpreted the message, thinking that it was aimed at their company for using cheap, third-world labor. Secondly, companies are obsessive anymore about protecting their intellectual property; names, logos, etc. The working theory is that they have to pursue all infringements, no matter how benign, because any failure to do so can be precedent against them when a legitimate case of infringement comes up.

I like the addition of the videos. That was great!

But seals have nothing on Young male dominant hippos.

DR, I'm seriously beginning to wonder if perhaps you have way too much time on your hands. Grins. Shudder. The thought of assraping hippos makes my entire body ache.

Sorry for the double post.

There needs to be a special category of Asshole Fuckfacery for Josef Fritzl.
And Niven should stick to writing science fiction.

I did like the video to discuss the penguin rape story

poor poor penguin

Jesus H Christ, not only are humans AFFs seals and hippo's, too. The end is near,will the world really end on dec 21 2012 one only hope's so.

By Satan's chipped fang, what the fuck are you talking about?

Mayan belief is that the world will end on Dec 21. 2012.

the predict a doomsday in which the poles reverse, uhber destruction, cats sleeping with dogs, horses running with cows, all that fun stuff

Oh I understood that part. It's the first sentence that bothers me.

You mean ignorant Western ideas of Mayan belief is . . .

That story of Fritzl has made headlines all over the world.

video was quite enjoyable, except for one part.
the part about the penguin getting raped by the seal while the scientists watched.
other than that, totally great.